


I’m Coming Out

by devoosha



Series: The Wonderful Life of KevEdd [11]
Category: Ed Edd n Eddy
Genre: Angst, Coming Out, Homophobic Language, M/M, but I’ll make it better, relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:15:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 35,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27560596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devoosha/pseuds/devoosha
Summary: As they approach their five month dating anniversary, Edd feels something is off.  Kevin wants to come out and while Edd feels closer to doing it than he has been, something holds him back.  But...things never go the way things are planned.
Relationships: Edd "Double D"/Kevin
Series: The Wonderful Life of KevEdd [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1081695
Comments: 78
Kudos: 49





	1. Let Me See Those Sexy Legs

**Author's Note:**

> I realized that I wrote the bulk of this part two years ago as my NaNoWriMo challenge, so I think it fitting that it finally gets posted on that anniversary. I can’t believe it’s been two years that I’ve been writing in this verse, and it’s one of the most rewarding projects I’ve ever done. 
> 
> There is still so much more I want to do with it, but I’m happy to finally get my hands on these scenes and revise them to share. Some of this if trope-y, but I love tropes, so I’m sticking with them. I hope that I portray this honestly and realistically - I’ve drawn on experiences I’ve heard from friends of mine to keep it as real to life as I can.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edd reflects on things...

**Let Me See Those Sexy Legs**

Edd peered through his closet, trying to decide on what he wanted to wear. Not that it was a special day or anything, but, in this second week of April, their area had entered into a slight heatwave. Nothing too bad, but warm enough to forgo coats and heavier clothes. The weather the past week had been chilly in the morning but warmed to nearly shorts temperatures by the afternoon. As the school still had the heat on, the classrooms could get stifling.

Kevin came into his room, startling him. He still wasn’t quite used to this - Kevin practically living at his house. Especially in the mornings. After nearly two years of living on his own, the presence of another person took some time to adjust to, even if it had been over a month since Kevin had sort of moved in. Sort of, because they often slept at Kevin’s house too, depending on what was going on. 

Kevin smiled at him as he went to the dresser to open ‘his’ drawer - a space Edd had cleared out for him to put t-shirts, socks, and underwear. A few shirts and pants hung in Edd’s closet as well; it gave Edd a small thrill every time he saw them hanging there next to his clothes. 

Kevin pulled out a shirt, one with the Star Wars logo on it, and pulled it on over his head, covering his naked top half. He already had boxers on, but he dug out socks and asked, “Did I bring any shorts over here yet?” 

“I washed some Sunday,” Edd replied. “They are in the laundry basket as I did not know where to put them.”

“Thanks, sweetheart.”

Kevin pulled on his shorts then sat on the bed to put on his socks. “You’re taking a long time today,” he said, glancing up at Edd as he let his foot fall back to the floor. 

“I am trying to decide whether to wear shorts or not.”

“Go for the shorts,” Kevin suggested. And, his expression shifting into something mischievous, added, “Let me see those sexy legs.”

“Hardly sexy, Kevin,” Edd chided absently. He chose the shirt he wanted and went to retrieve shorts from the dresser. Kevin impeded him by coming up behind to wrap arms around his body to kiss on his neck. 

“Don’t tell me ‘hardly sexy’,” Kevin mumbled into his skin. “Especially when they’re propped up against my shoulders.”

Edd giggled, a blush staining his cheeks. “This is not helping me get ready for school, Kevin.”

Kevin kissed him a few more times before letting go to head back to the bathroom. Edd sighed, a mixture of happiness and something else. It had been a difficult month, and while they were fine and even more in love than ever, he sensed a slight tension now and wasn’t sure how to approach fixing it.

It began a few weeks after they started sleeping together. Kevin asked Edd to join him and his parents on a trip to his grandparent’s house for spring break. Pete’s parents, whom Edd had not yet met, lived in the southern part of Illinois, and Kevin wanted them to meet Edd. Edd wanted to meet them, though the looks exchanged between Pete and Sylvie when Kevin brought it up to them told him it probably wasn’t a good idea.

It turned out not to be. Through a FaceTime call with them, Kevin introduced Edd as his boyfriend and asked if Edd could come on their visit. It did not go over well and Kevin, who was spoiled by these grandparents, took it hard. They did not accept his sexuality and said some rather harsh things. Kevin adored these grandparents and was devastated, especially as his other grandmother and both sets of Edd’s grandparents were all happy about their relationship.

Edd did his best to comfort Kevin, but the hurt ran deep. Outwardly, to their friends, Kevin appeared his normal, happy self, but Edd was the one to hold him during the nights that first week, wiping away tears and murmuring how much he loved Kevin into his boyfriend’s ear. 

The grandparents had called the next week to apologize. Kevin accepted it but didn’t talk with them further. They apologized for saying what they said, but they still didn’t accept this ‘phase’ of Kevin’s. They thought the apology was enough to get Kevin and his parents to come visit anyway, but Pete told them no. 

Instead, the Barr’s and Edd went up to the Wisconsin Dells and spent a relaxing week that did much to bring a smile back not only to Kevin’s face but also to his eyes. Edd heard his light-hearted laugh again and by the end of the week, things appeared to be almost back to normal.

Except.

From the beginning of their relationship, Kevin agreed to Edd’s request to keep it a secret, even though Kevin wanted to be open about it. Edd’s feelings on the matter were complicated and had a lot to do with Kevin, so he was hesitant about it. He was, however, thankful that Kevin never pushed the matter and respected Edd’s wishes.

Yet, with the five-month anniversary of them becoming a couple the very next day, it was getting more and more difficult to keep it quiet. When the weather was colder, it was easy to stay inside, cuddled up and watching movies, or playing video games. It was how most of their dates were. But with the onset of warmer weather, Kevin wanted to get out of the house. He was an active teen and enjoyed going out to do things. Of course, he wanted Edd along with him. So Edd found himself going on hikes through spring woods, rides on Kevin’s motorcycle, playing mini-golf, and a good deal of other things that took them outside.

And into the public.

It made him nervous when it was just the two of them, though it was now established at school that they were ‘friends’. Seeing them out together should not raise too many questions. Certainly, none when they were with the rest of their friends. Many of the things they did together didn’t bring them into contact with other schoolmates, but there was the occasional run-in. Especially when they grabbed dinner at the local diner.

Their schedule during the week didn’t allow them too much time for leisure. Kevin was now deep into practice for the baseball team and the first games started the first week of April. Edd now found himself attending high school sporting events, something he never thought he’d be able to say. There was no way he would miss Kevin consistently leading their school to victory. Peach Creek High dominated their high school conference, led by Kevin as their captain and pitcher. 

Edd floored Eddy once when Eddy made a snide remark once about how Kevin played ‘pitcher’, right? Wasn’t it like that in the bedroom, huh? Edd smirked at him and replied slyly that Kevin often played ‘catcher’ as well, which shut Eddy up. Jokes about ‘pitchers’ and ‘catchers’ never again crossed his friend’s lips.

The difficult part about all these going-out dates was trying to pretend they weren’t dating when they were somewhere they could run into other people from school. It was almost physically painful for Edd not to touch Kevin, and he could see the frustration in Kevin’s expression as well. Comments from Kevin about wishing to be ‘out’ came more frequently and caused Edd’s anxiety to shoot up. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be affectionate to Kevin in public. He wanted it very much. He couldn’t wait to be at college, free to hold Kevin’s hand, kiss him, and let Kevin encircle him in the safety of his arm. But here? With the knowledge of how cruel high school kids could be? Kevin, whether he knew it or not, enjoyed the attention his popularity brought to him, and while Edd didn’t think any of Kevin’s closest friends would cease their friendship once they knew Kevin was gay, he certainly didn’t want Kevin to lose his popularity or even one of his friends.

It may be paranoid to have these thoughts, but Edd had them and couldn’t shake them. Watching Kevin laugh and joke around at their lunch table with the others showed Edd how much Kevin would be hurt should those friends shun him when they found out. Peach Creek was, generally, a progressive and accepting school. There were other LGBTQ+ students there – Kevin and Edd would hardly be the first same-sex couple, either. 

None of those individuals was the most popular jock of the school. 

Kevin might not appreciate his social status, but Edd, who had no social status – whose two closest friends had no social status – did appreciate it. Sure, Eddy dating Nazz raised it, and by association his and Ed’s, but they were still outsiders. Accepted among the popular kids, but still not popular themselves. If Kevin and Nazz weren’t in the picture, the Eds would still be sitting at their corner table, ignored by nearly everyone in the school. Kevin constantly told Edd he was overthinking things, but Edd thought Kevin didn’t think about it enough. 

Overall, it was creating a sort of tension between the two. A strange sensation for two people who hadn’t fought in the entire time they’d been together. There’d been no reason to fight – they were surprisingly compatible. Neither was a pushover, neither asked for too much, neither made any unreasonable demands. Their relationship was like a smooth, flowing river – placid, calm, and happy. The most they clashed over was which movie to watch and how Iron Man was superior to Captain America (Edd’s superbly correct opinion, by the way). 

Now that the smooth river had started flowing over some bumpy rocks, it was throwing Edd into an uneasy state. They hadn’t fought – yet – but Edd felt something was brewing. With Kevin still upset about his grandparents and his frustration with Edd’s reluctance, Edd knew it would come to a head soon. Kevin was still loving and affectionate with him, of course. Edd never doubted Kevin’s love for a moment. 

Edd didn’t know how to fix things right now. Other than coming out, he could see no way. It was a constant struggle because he wouldn’t mind being ‘out’. He didn’t think anyone would care about him. Anyhow, he could handle anything thrown at him. What would one more label be to someone who’d been picked on since he was a little kid? Nothing. 

He was worried about Kevin, who had never been bullied. Had never been called names (except from Eddy). Had never had to hide in the bathroom to avoid someone who was after you. Edd didn’t want Kevin to deal with any of that. 

He didn’t want Kevin to question whether he, Edd, was worth it.

Edd could feel his resolve crumbling – knew he would cave in to Kevin soon - but he wasn’t there yet. A growing part of him wanted to give this to Kevin, concede in this as Kevin conceded in nearly everything else. He'd, in a way, conceded with Kevin on the motorcycle thing. That worked out fine and was now one of Edd's favorite things to do...ride with Kevin. That part of Edd's mind argued repeatedly with the nagging voice that whispered all the things that could go horribly wrong. That nagging voice in his head held him back.

“Where’s your mind, sweetheart?”

Edd, who had been staring at his wall for the whole time Kevin was in the bathroom, jumped. “Kevin!”

“You look deep in thought,” Kevin said, crossing the room and sliding his arms around Edd. “You okay?”

Trying to calm his racing heart, Edd nodded. “I am, Kevin. I was merely lost in thought.”

“Anything good?”

“You.”

Kevin laughed, throwing his head back. Though Edd’s thoughts had been serious, he grinned. “Well, I’m glad you can get lost in thoughts of me, my little dork,” he said affectionately. “I’m always lost in thoughts of you.”

“Kevin…” Edd said, blushing. Yes, Kevin still could make him blush.

A quick kiss against his forehead, a little extra squeeze, and Kevin let him go. “I’m taking the bike in today,” he said. “So I’m gonna leave now.”

Edd smiled slightly. “All right.” Kevin took every opportunity to be on the bike and it promised to be a nice day. 

Kevin dropped another kiss on Edd’s lips and patted him on the butt. “See you at school, sweetheart. Love you!”

“See you at school! Love you, too!” Edd echoed as Kevin disappeared from his room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this explains Edd's hesitation a little more. I'll give you even more later in this part!


	2. I Won't Give Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin surprises Edd.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah...here’s a big trope. But...I love it anyway :)

**I Won't Give Up**

“Ugh, this is like the suckiest thing we’ve had to suffer through in this school!” Eddy exclaimed in an annoyed tone, lifting his hands dramatically as he tilted his head against the back of his seat in the school auditorium.

Nazz laughed outright from her seat on Eddy’s right and Edd giggled behind his hand from his spot on Eddy’s left. “Oh, Eddy,” Edd said, between his giggles. “There have been many other wretched instances here. This cannot be the worst one in our history of attending this school!”

“It’s just a talent show, honey,” Nazz said.

Rolf looked around Nazz at Eddy. “Surely, Eddy-boy, Rolf is enjoying the native talents of his mostly dead-brain fellow students.”

“I’d enjoy it if these cretins had talent!” Eddy insisted. Two junior girls sat in front of the small group of friends and they turned around to glare at Eddy. “What?” he demanded of them. With small, annoyed huffs, they turned back look at the stage where the emcee had come out to announce the next act.

Eddy crossed his arms and grumbled, “There was more talent in the talent show I put on back when we were kids.”

“You mean that miserable failure?” Nazz teased, getting a sour look from her boyfriend.

“I thought you said Kevin would be here,” Ed spoke up from the other side of Edd. He had become quite attached to Kevin since Edd and Kevin began dating. 

All of his friends looked at him with wide eyes. He had directed the question to Edd, but Nazz was the one who answered. “He said he’d be here. I’ve no idea where he is.”

“I miss Kevin,” Ed stated.

Before they could say anything, the emcee, a pep band member named Claire, spoke up on the mic. The previous act, a garage band that failed to impress the audience and had received lukewarm applause, had finally cleared their gear.

“Please go crazy and welcome our next act, Kevin Barr performing on the guitar!” Claire yelled into the microphone as she looked to the side of the stage.

Edd sat up a little straighter, his mouth dropping open a little. He knew perfectly well Kevin could play and sing – it was how Kevin had first told Edd he liked him – but Kevin hadn’t mentioned entering the talent show.

“Did you know about this?” Eddy hissed in his ear. Edd merely shook his head.

Kevin strode out onto the stage, confident as always and smiling his hundred-watt smile. He cradled his guitar, with its Captain America strap slung over his shoulder, in his hands. Claire had placed the mic on its’ stand in the middle of the stage. The students in their seats were screaming and clapping for Kevin. Edd could tell Kevin ate up the attention and loved it. He flashed a peace sign at everyone as he took his place. He looked so handsome to Edd with his cargo shorts, his Star Wars t-shirt, and his red hat perched on his head backward. 

“ROCK IT KEVIN!”

“FREEEEEEBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRD!”

Everyone laughed at the things shouted by what Edd assumed were Kevin’s teammates from the baseball team. Kevin, who was adjusting the strings, also laughed and positioned his guitar in front of him, ready to play. He gave a thumbs up in the direction the voices came from and leaned forward slightly to speak into the mic in an amused tone of voice. “I’m actually going to slow it down a little. I’m dedicating this to someone special in my life. You know who you are.” As he spoke, his eyes darted around the auditorium until he spotted Edd and locked eyes with his boyfriend. Kevin smiled, winked at Edd, then started the soft melody on the guitar.

Edd didn’t recognize the song, though that wasn’t a surprise to him. He wasn’t as up on music as Kevin usually was. He felt himself lean forward eagerly to listen to the words. Kevin had proved very good at picking songs that meant something.

_When I look into your eyes_  
_It’s like watching the night sky_  
_Or a beautiful sunrise_  
_Well, there’s so much they hold_

Edd heard the gasps from the other students as Kevin began singing. He assumed not everyone knew how well Kevin could sing, and Edd felt proud of his boyfriend.

_Well, I won’t give up on us_  
_Even if the skies get rough_  
_I’m giving you all my love_  
_I’m still looking up_

Edd felt the tears smart in his eyes. He knew exactly why Kevin chose this song. They would have their difficulties in the future, had been through some difficulties already, and this was Kevin’s assurance he would always be there.

_Cause even the stars they burn_  
_Some even fall to the earth_  
_We’ve got a lot to learn_  
_God knows we’re worth it_  
_No, I won’t give up_

With that verse, Kevin’s voice expanded and became strong and forceful as the pace of the song picked up, which elicited loud applause from their fellow students. The emotion and passion he put into the words touched Edd deeply and he didn’t even feel the nudge from Eddy’s elbow, as he was so entranced with the vision of his boyfriend in front of him. The tone of the song changed.

_And in the end, you’re still my friend, at least we did intend_  
_For us to work, we didn’t break, we didn’t burn_  
_We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in_  
_I had to learn what I’ve got, and what I’m not and who I am_

The long note held on the last word drove the crowd wild. Kevin sang the next two bits of the chorus with the same passion that had lit up the song from the middle.

_Well, I won’t give up on us_  
_God knows I’m tough enough_  
_We’ve got a lot to learn_  
_God knows we’re worth it_

Kevin changed the tone of the song on the guitar. It became much softer and he only strummed a few notes as he sang the last chorus in a soft, though caressing, tone of voice.

_I won’t give up on us_  
_Even if the skies get rough_  
_I’m giving you all my love_  
_I’m still looking up_

When Kevin sang the line, ‘giving you all my love’, he pointed directly at Edd. And after he strummed the last chord, he lifted his left hand from the neck of the guitar, flashed the sign language sign for “I love you” and mouthed it. It took only a second before the audience erupted into applause. The female portion of the audience was the loudest and Edd could hear the speculation around them about whom Kevin was singing to.

Kevin gave a cocky grin to the audience as he bowed, then walked off the stage. Eddy was nudging Edd in the side and the boy finally turned to his best friend. “What, Eddy?”

Eddy’s eyes darted to the girls in front of them, then back to Edd. “Watch your expression!” Eddy hissed at him and Edd realized he probably had a lovesick look in his eyes. He saw the girls were turned and looking behind them, though their focus was not on Edd or Eddy.

“He was pointing this way, I swear!” the blond said. “I know it! He stared this way the whole time!”

“Who the fuck though? I mean, Kevin doesn’t date anyone! Who could he be in love with?” her friend asked.

“There’s, like, twenty girls I can see. Shit, I thought he pointed at me for a minute! Dream come true, eh, Renee?” the blond giggled.

Renee rolled her eyes. “As if he’d like you, Tammy! Maybe it was me?”

“Pfft, not likely! He has no idea you exist!”

“Hey, maybe it was me!” Eddy exclaimed, leaning forward and putting a hand on each of their chair backs. “I am a pretty good catch, but I’m already spoken for, so Kevin’s heart will be broken,” he lamented.

The girls looked disgusted, as Nazz, Rolf, and the Eds laughed. 

“Kevin likes boys!” Ed said.

Edd clutched at Ed’s arm to make sure his friend didn’t say anything more. Fortunately, those around the group found this funny and they all laughed at the girls who had been speculating. Before they could say anything else about it, Claire was out on the stage to announce the next act.

* * *

“Romantic enough for you, my little dork?” Kevin asked as they walked with Eddy, Nazz, Ed, and Rolf to the parking lot and their cars. Edd had taken to getting a ride with Nazz in her roomy SUV with Rolf and the other Eds. Kevin had practice after school today. Edd never went to watch the practices, though he wanted to. He didn’t think it prudent because Kevin’s teammates might be suspicious as to why the brainy genius would want to sit and watch. 

Edd ached to throw his arms around Kevin and show his boyfriend his appreciation of the romantic gesture. Edd was touched to his core and felt incredibly loved. And frustrated he couldn’t show it here in public. “Very much so, Kevin,” he answered softly. “I cannot believe you did that. Thank you.”

Kevin shot Edd a smug smile, able to see the frustration in Edd’s expression. “I know our five-month is tomorrow, so I wanted to do something for you, Dee,” he said in just as quiet a voice. Their classmates still surrounded them, many of whom would stop Kevin to rave about his performance. The group of friends, as a whole, would stop with Kevin basking in his brief fame. The girls asked to whom he sang, but he would only grin and shrug, turning on the charm even as he answered vaguely. “Oh, you know, someone special. We’re keeping it quiet for now…” he would say, making the girls frustrated.

“It was rather reckless, though, Kevin,” Edd stated, his tone low and disapproving.

“Oh come on, Dee, no one knew.”

“Kevin, you stared at me the entire time you sang and pointed directly at me at the end,” Edd protested.

“Yeah, and there were about fifty girls in that area it could have been.”

“Now that the student population knows you have a love interest, however, they will be scrutinizing you much more closely. We will have to be extra careful to not show our affection for each other while we are here at school.”

“We could just come out,” Kevin suggested nonchalantly, then regretted it immediately seeing how Edd paled. “I know, Dee,” he said contritely. “You’re not ready.”

Edd sighed, looking at the ground for a moment as they walked behind Nazz and Eddy, that feeling of uneasiness rising in his gut once again. “I wish I were ready, Kevin.”

They didn’t speak again until they were almost at Nazz’s car. Edd felt the tension build, though Kevin kept his smile and didn’t look particularly upset. Edd still felt, as he always did, he had given Kevin the wrong answer.

“See you after practice?” Edd asked.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”

Edd didn’t respond to the question. “Excellent, Kevin. I would like to show you my appreciation for your thoughtful and romantic gesture.”

Kevin’s face lit up as his smile morphed into an impish grin. “I look forward to that, Dee!” he said as he waved goodbye and turned to head back to the locker room while Edd got into Nazz’s car with everyone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is “I Won’t Give Up” by Jason Mraz...which I absolutely adore.


	3. I’m Sure Edd Loved It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake knows...

**I’m Sure Edd Loved It**

Practice was rough. Coach worked them hard as the team showed a lot of potential to do well for the season. They won the first couple of games against some of the tougher schools in their division, so there was a general feeling of hope that they could go to championships. All of the team was tired, hungry, sore, and sweaty at the end of the practice and they all wearily made their way to the locker rooms for showers.

Sometimes Kevin showered at school, sometimes at home or Edd’s. He decided to shower at the school this afternoon because he wanted to get his hands on Edd the minute he got to his boyfriend’s house and he knew that Edd was overly sensitive to dirt, sweat, and smell, so he wanted to arrive clean and fresh.

Most of the team showered as well, and the stalls rang with their laughter and insults toward each other. Kevin was used to this, though he cringed when gay insults echoed in the tiled and steam-filled room. He tried to ignore the stabs of anger when he heard one, telling himself that they didn’t know he was gay and that they meant nothing serious by it.

At least he hoped.

The hot water felt good, and despite wanting to get to Edd’s to love on him, he was one of the last out, tying a towel around his waist and grabbing a spare to dry off his upper body and hair as he walked over to his locker. Jake sat on the bench in front of the lockers, pulling socks on over his feet. 

“Hey Jake, great work at bat today.”

“Thanks, dude. Your pitching was on point. I hope your ass didn’t use it all up in practice. We got a game you need that for this weekend.”

Kevin laughed, lifting a hand to wave at a couple of teammates who passed by their locker row on their way out. “Naw, I got plenty more where that came from.”

Jake shoved his feet into his sneakers and sat on the bench watching as Kevin yanked on his clothes. “Checking out the merchandise?” Kevin asked over his shoulder.

“Just noticing how scrawny you are compared to me,” Jake retorted.

Kevin laughed, not offended. He quickly dressed, brushed his hair, and threw his hat on haphazardly, knowing that by the time he got to Edd’s it would be dry, but a complete tangled mess that Edd loved. He had grown his hair out a little shaggy and knew Edd was pleased with it, as he said cheekily to Kevin that it was more to grab onto in the midst of passion. That thought brought a slight blush to Kevin’s face.

Jake watched Kevin thoughtfully as his captain dressed. The insinuation, or rather, outright claim by his girlfriend, Carla, back in January was foremost in his mind. They had spent the day with Kevin and his friends, including the Eds now, at the Winter Festival in Peach Creek. Carla said to him on the drive home that she suspected Kevin and Double D were more than friends. It was a surprise to him, who never suspected Kevin might be into guys.

The insinuation did, however, cause him to watch Kevin a little closer, which became easier once the Eds started sitting with them at lunch. It was true that Kevin never talked about going on dates anymore. Before Christmas (and when Jake wracked his brain about it, he thought it was before Thanksgiving), Kevin would occasionally go out with a girl once or twice. Never anything serious, and never anything that went beyond a date or two. 

Since Kevin hadn’t mentioned dating, he was relentlessly teased by his teammates about the loss of his reputation as a ladies man and about not being able to score. Kevin laughed it off. Jake knew the laugh was genuine – Kevin didn’t care that he didn’t have a dating life.

Jake did remember a dip in Kevin’s usual happy mood in November. He seemed morose and withdrawn. Jake at first thought Kevin might be crushing on someone, and he thought it might be Kevin’s best friend, Nazz. Jake wouldn’t have been surprised if Kevin were, and it would explain Kevin’s attitude, but all of a sudden, Kevin was in a much better mood and Nazz was dating Eddy.

A much better mood was an understatement. Kevin looked over the moon. Jake had never seen Kevin as happy as he had been these past five months. The only thing that Jake could attribute that to was getting some. And not just getting laid. Kevin had become involved with someone who made him happy. This did explain Carla’s suspicions, but Jake was curious as to why Kevin wouldn’t just say he was dating Edd. Was he that worried about coming out at school? 

Watching Kevin and Edd interact over the past few months convinced Jake that Carla was right. The eye contact and secret smiles alone spoke volumes at the lunch table. Edd never said much at the table. Jake could probably count the number of times Edd had participated in a conversation on the fingers of both hands. He quietly sat, directly across from Jake, and ate his packed lunch. Certainly, he listened to everyone, but Jake pegged him as shy and introverted, which was an interesting contrast to Kevin. 

As he normally sat across from Edd, Jake caught most of the little looks and smiles he gave Kevin, as well as sometimes catching the ones Kevin gave back. It happened too often to be coincidental, especially as one or the other would develop a slight pink tinge on his cheeks.

Hinting at it in conversation with Kevin yielded nothing. Jake felt uncomfortable saying anything to his friend. If Kevin were gay and hiding a relationship with Edd, there was a reason and probably a good one. Jake respected that and respected Kevin too much to force the issue. If Kevin trusted him, he would tell him, simple as that. 

A good clue, to Jake, was seeing Kevin and Edd out by themselves once at the movies. It was common to run into someone you knew in Peach Creek; it wasn’t a very large town to begin with. He had often run into Kevin when out and Kevin was usually with Edd and their friends. This day at the movies was the first time he had seen Kevin and Edd alone. Neither Kevin nor Edd saw Jake, but Jake saw them – saw Kevin buy the tickets, saw Edd buy the popcorn and pop, and saw them walk into the theater together as Kevin put his hand on the small of Edd’s back as he followed the smaller teen through the door.

This went on all through the end of winter and into spring. Jake thought that Kevin was getting a little careless at trying to hide his relationship with Edd. The looks exchanged were more obvious on Kevin’s side, the sly smiles were evident, the small touches on the arm or shoulder in the hallways that Jake saw, the passing of a note at Edd’s locker. Jake kept expecting other members of their team, especially the ones that sat with them at lunch, to say something, but to his surprise no one did.

Still, through all this, Jake's suspicions were just that – suspicions. He had no proof. It wasn’t like he had caught Kevin and Edd making out somewhere. Still, Carla was never wrong about these things, and he had a feeling she was right about this. He waited for some sort of definitive proof before asking Kevin about it.

He got his proof at the talent show. Jake was as surprised as everyone else that Kevin could sing and play guitar. When Kevin came out on stage, Jake was the one who yelled “Freeeeebiiiiiiird” though he knew no one probably understood the reference. Jake was sitting to the left side of the auditorium, but he had seen Edd sitting with his closest friends a few rows back in the middle. He turned to look at Edd and saw the flushed cheeks, starry eyes, and open mouth as Kevin stood on the stage.

Jake knew that when Kevin said that he was dedicating the song to ‘someone special, you know who you are’, that Kevin meant Edd. He had to have meant that and Jake’s second glance at Edd proved it. Edd was positively glowing. How could anyone miss that?

Kevin’s eyes stayed on Edd the entire time he sang. That song? Too obvious to Jake to miss. Kevin even pointed right at Edd during the final verse. He couldn’t believe Kevin’s balls. Kevin may as well have said Edd’s name, and Edd wasn’t helping the matter as he looked so moved.

All of this went through Jake’s mind as he watched Kevin change. He roused a bit when Kevin spoke and had to ask Kevin to repeat himself.

“I said, are you waiting for me?”

“Oh,” said Jake. “Yeah sorry. Just in deep thought.”

“Don’t strain yourself.”

“Haha.”

“What’s on your mind that’s got you thinking such deep thoughts?” Kevin asked, slamming his locker shut and zipping up his sports duffel. He shuffled his guitar case onto his back.

“Oh, things,” Jake said vaguely as he stood and shouldered his own sports bag.

The early evening sun warmed their faces as they left the building and walked together across the stretch of cracked pavement to Kevin’s bike. Two helmets, Jake noticed, though one was attached to the back seat. “Dude, I have to say,” Jake began, “I had no idea you could sing like that. It was amazing.”

Kevin blushed and Jake could see the praise pleased him. “Thanks, man!” he said. “I guess I’m not bad. Not perfect, but I like to sing.”

“I had no idea,” Jake repeated.

“I just mess around. But I wanted to do this, so I figured what the hell, and just went for it,” Kevin said, swinging his leg over the bike and turning to secure his duffel in the side storage.

Seeing he was slightly distracted by trying to do this while being unbalanced by the guitar case on his back, Jake said, “Yeah dude. That song was so romantic. I’m sure Edd loved it.”

Kevin chuckled absently. “Yeah, he did,” he answered, his vocal tone betraying how happy that made him. “The look on his face was…” and Kevin stopped abruptly and whipped his head around to stare at a grinning Jake.

“I knew it!” Jake exclaimed.

“Fuck, oh fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck!” Kevin hissed, covering his face with his hands. “Oh shit!” he groaned as Jake just laughed. Kevin was mortified, more because he knew how upset Edd would be. 

“Bro, it’s ok!” Jake said, still laughing. “I’m just glad I was right all along!”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Kevin said grumpily, dropping his hands listlessly to his thighs and looking at Jake with a sour expression. “Edd is going to fucking kill me.”

“Just cause I know, man? Just cause I confirmed something I’ve known for months?”

“You’ve known?”

“You guys aren’t very secret about it if someone looks close enough. Carla actually pointed it out at the Winter Festival.”

“Shit.”

“Dude, you fucking pointed to him when you sang that song! The look on his face was all I needed to know I was right!”

“Shit shit shit,” Kevin repeated. “Jake, dude, you can’t fucking tell anyone. Please!”

“Come on, Kev, you know me better than that. You’re my friend, you ass.”

“Seriously, Edd’s gonna kill me when I tell him you know. I can’t imagine what he’d do if everyone else knew.”

Jake was concerned at how upset Kevin looked. “I’m serious, Kev, I won’t say anything. You can trust me. But, just out of curiosity, why are you keeping in the closet.”

Kevin grimaced at the term, then sighed as he reached up a hand to wipe at his face. “I…I…it’s Edd. He’s not ready. Personally? I don’t care if anyone knows, but Edd’s really worried about it. I’m not sure why; he doesn’t give me a full answer when I ask. I think he’s scared he’ll get picked on or bullied about it.”

“I can see that,” Jake murmured. “There’s some assholes in this school, but I don’t think he’d have that hard of a time. It’s not like you’re the first gay guys here. Those guys don’t really get picked on.”

Kevin nodded. “I know, but Edd’s been picked on his whole life and I guess he just doesn’t want to give them another reason.”

“Huh,” Jake grunted. “Poor kid.”

“Yeah. I’d do anything to make sure he doesn’t get hurt, ya know?”

“Well, again dude, you have nothing to worry about from me. I ain’t gonna say anything.”

“I appreciate that,” Kevin said, looking away. 

“Edd seems like a nice guy,” Jake mentioned. “I mean, I don’t know him well. He never says anything when we’re all at lunch together, but he seems nice.”

Jake was surprised at the way Kevin’s features softened and at the small and secretive smile that appeared on his friend’s face. “He is. He’s the nicest, kindest guy I’ve ever known.”

“Ugh,” Jake teased, making a face, “Don’t get all lovey-dovey on me.”

Kevin laughed, turning amused eyes on Jake, “Sorry man, can’t help it.”

“I am happy for you, bro. ‘Bout time you got some action.”

Kevin rolled his eyes, “Tell me about it.” He lifted his helmet to his head and strapped it on. “Thanks again for not saying anything to anyone. I need to get home to Edd, he should have dinner waiting for me.”

“Aw, fuck man, I can’t even get Carla to make me a frigging sandwich,” Jake complained of his girlfriend. The complaint, Kevin knew, was said in a teasing manner as Jake was quite head-over-heels in love with his girlfriend.

Kevin chuckled as he started his bike. “Carla mind gay guys? We double date with Nazz and Eddy a lot. We can make it a triple.”

“Nah. Carla’s always dragging me to pride parades. Her sis is a lezzie,” then said, hoping he hadn’t offended Kevin, “her words, not mine.”

“Cool, let me know.”

Jake stepped back, lifting his hand in a wave. “Hey, is the sex at least good?”

Kevin raised his eyebrows at the personal question, then realized this was Jake after all and let his features fall into a smug smirk. “Mind-blowing!” he called as he backed his bike up.

“Yes!” Jake yelled, laughing as he walked away to his car.

* * *

Kevin had only just shut the door at Edd’s and set his duffel and guitar case on the floor when he felt as if he were tackled by a small force. It was Edd, jumping up at him, wrapping his arms tightly around Kevin’s neck as Kevin’s arms automatically curled in to hold Edd up. Edd’s legs came up to wrap around Kevin’s hips and Kevin felt Edd’s face press into his neck.

Kevin chuckled, cuddling Edd to him. “Hey, what’s this for, Dee?”

“Kevin,” Edd choked out, “that was the most beautiful thing today. Thank you for singing that for me.”

“I’m glad you liked it, my Dee. It said what I wanted to say to you.”

“It was perfect.”

“I know after that crap with my grandparents you’ve been worried,” Kevin said. Then over Edd’s attempted protest, he said, “No, I know you have, you can’t fool me. You don’t think I can read you after all these months?”

Edd pulled back and looked into Kevin’s eyes. His own were damp with unshed tears, but he smiled that gap-toothed grin that drove Kevin crazy. “I know, Kevin.”

“I don’t ever want you to think I’d give up on what we have. I’m not going anywhere, ever. You’re all mine,” he assured Edd, pressing his forehead against Edd’s. “Forever,” he whispered.

Edd sighed happily. “And you are mine, Kevin.”

“There is something I want to tell you,” Kevin began, but Edd’s mind was focused on something else.

“Can it wait? Can you take me upstairs, now?” he asked a little shyly. “I do not think I can wait any longer. You were at practice for a long time.”

Kevin was delighted, as he always was when Edd was the one who wanted sex. He made sure to kick his shoes off and proceeded to carry his adorable boyfriend up the stairs so Edd could show Kevin just how much he appreciated the song Kevin sang for him at the talent show.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The summary for this is “Jake knows...”, which...fun fact...was the title of the document in my folder for the longest time for this whole story. My original document...titled KevEdd...contained some of this from when I originally wrote it...but the whole arc with Jake came later, so I snipped what I needed into a new document, hastily titled it “Jake Knows” and wrote the rest. It wasn’t until I started editing it into chapters that I came up with the real title.
> 
> And I love you if you understand the Freebird reference. Well...I’ll still love you if you don’t...


	4. I Don’t Care if They Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin tells Edd that Jake knows...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...this week I tested positive for Covid. I feel okay...a little run down, tired, have a bit of a cough, and chills. My husband tested positive too, so we are isolating in our home for two weeks. The good news is that I’ll definitely have a lot of free time to work on this part of the series, and hopefully get chapters out faster. 
> 
> However, if there is a long pause between chapters, that’s probably the reason. I’ll do my best, but the health does come first. Love to you all! 💜

**I Don’t Care If They Know**

“What was it you wanted to tell me, Kevin, before we came upstairs?” Edd asked a little drowsily as he lay spooning with Kevin, wrapped up tightly in his boyfriends’ arms.

Kevin tensed. Shit. He cleared his throat, “Um.”

“Kevin?”

“Dee. Um. Just remember I wanted to tell you before we came up here. I just couldn’t resist you. Not when you’re so insistent,” Kevin said in an attempt to set a teasing tone.

“I am sorry about that.”

Kevin chuckled, and then kissed the tempting shoulder in front of him. “Never be sorry when you want me, Dee. I love it.”

Edd sighed, though Kevin could hear the contentment in it. “All right,” he said. “What do you want to tell me?”

He paused for a long time. “Um. Well. The thing is Dee…” another pause. “You know Jake?”

“Yes, Kevin,” Edd said patiently. “I know Jake. One of your closest friends, who has sat across from me at lunch every day for months.”

“Yeah. Him. Well…” and Kevin took a deep breath. “Jake knows.”

It took a minute for Edd to respond, and when he did it was to tense up in his arms. “He knows?” Edd squeaked out.

“Yeah.”

Kevin felt Edd start to struggle, so he released his tight grip. Edd sat up then, the sheet pooling around his lap. Kevin straightened as well, leaning his weight on his hand and facing Edd, though Edd was staring at the foot of the bed. “Jake knows?” Edd asked again, his voice trembling. “How?”

“I accidentally told him,” Kevin admitted.

Edd didn’t answer for a moment, and when he did, Kevin was surprised at how icy cold his voice was. Edd, who just twenty minutes ago, was all warmth and heat and passion. “You told him, Kevin?”

“It was an accident,” Kevin said in a pleading tone. 

“How could you!?” Edd finally cried, looking at him. Kevin was taken aback by the wild look in Edd’s eyes.

“Dee!” Kevin said in what he hoped was a soothing voice, straightening up even more. He reached to lay his hand on Edd’s arm, but Edd jerked away, scooting over a little on the bed.

“I cannot believe this! I trusted you! You promised to keep this secret!”

“Dee!” Kevin said, raising his voice. “It’s okay. It’s all right!”

“How can you say that?” Edd turned away and buried his face in his hands. “Oh my goodness, the whole school will know!”

Kevin was confused. He knew Edd would be upset, but he didn’t expect the pure panic he was witnessing. Edd was trembling, curling in onto himself, and his voice sounded close to tears. Kevin scooted closer, knowing that Edd couldn’t edge further away from him without getting off the bed. “Dee,” he soothed, lightly caressing the naked back of his shaking boyfriend. “Dee, it’s okay. I promise. Jake won’t say anything.”

“Everyone will know,” Edd sobbed.

“No, they won’t, baby. No, they won’t. Jake’s my friend. He would never tell anyone. He promised me.”

“How did this even happen, Kevin?” Edd asked, turning his head to look at him. Kevin felt so guilty at the expression in Edd’s beautiful eyes. Edd looked so hurt. Kevin felt a brief stab of hate for himself for putting that kind of pain on Edd’s face.

“I was an idiot. I’m so sorry, Dee,” he said sadly, still caressing Edd’s back. “Jake and I walked out together after practice. We were talking about the talent show as I got on my bike. He was complimenting me and I wasn’t paying too much attention cause I was stowing my bag away. Then Jake said something about how the song was really romantic and that he was sure that ‘Edd loved it’. Without even thinking, I said you did and that the look on your face was…then I stopped because I realized what I said. I felt like shit. I _feel_ like shit. I never meant it, Dee, you have to believe me!”

“I cannot believe this,” Edd said, looking away. His posture slumped, his forearms resting limply on his thighs. It reminded Kevin of back before they got together, when Edd was so depressed because he thought Kevin didn’t like him back. Defeated. That was the look.

“Dee, please! I’m sorry! But Jake already knew anyway. He said he’s known for months.”

That seemed to shock Edd, who fell into another silence. At least he wasn’t drawing away from Kevin anymore, but Kevin worried at his stillness and how he was staring at the foot of the bed. “He has known?” he asked in a faint voice.

“That’s what he said,” Kevin affirmed. “Well, he suspected it. He said we haven’t really hid it all that good. At least not to him because he knows me so well.” Kevin sighed, leaning over to kiss Edd’s shoulder again. It got no response. “And,” Kevin added, “he said he saw me point to you during the song and he said the look on your face was all he needed to know.”

“I knew once the song was done that it was a bad idea,” Edd said flatly.

Kevin was stung. He had thought that Edd had loved the fact that he sang a song for him. That’s why they were in bed right now. Edd had wanted to show his appreciation. Now he just sounded angry.

“You didn’t like it?”

Edd sighed and reached up to rub his fingertips against his closed eyes. “I loved the song, Kevin. I loved the gesture. It was quite romantic and the song was perfect.” His hands dropped into his lap again. 

Kevin found himself noticing details on Edd he’d never consciously noted before. There was a little mole or freckle just under Edd’s ear. Edd’s hair was straight and silky, but slightly curled at the nape of his neck. It was long, which one never realized because Edd wore his hat all the time. But here, in the privacy of Edd’s room, Kevin saw all of his boyfriend. Saw Edd vulnerable and open…all for him. And Kevin knew that vulnerability came from a place of trust – a trust he’d just broken.

“I know I shouldn’t have pointed to you, Dee. I’m so sorry.” He had no idea what else to say to make it better.

“Jake knows,” Edd stated. “He can’t have been the only one to notice. I should not have watched. I should have controlled my own reaction. You caught me off guard.”

“It’s not your fault, Dee. I should have thought it out more. I should have told you, but I wanted to surprise you.”

“I know it is not my fault, Kevin,” Edd snapped. Kevin flinched back a little. Edd rarely showed anger toward him. Exasperation, yes. Edd had been firm on his own opinions at times, but Kevin hadn’t heard anger when he himself was the source of the anger. 

“Uh, I don’t think anyone else noticed,” he said. “So many people asked me who it was about. They wouldn’t have done that if everyone knew. And I told you, Jake isn’t gonna say anything.”

“But as I said, everyone will now be curious. You are too popular for people not to want to know.”

Kevin sighed. The popularity obsession again with Edd. Kevin was sick of it. “I don’t care if they know,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry.”

“It is in the past Kevin, there is nothing to be done about it now,” Edd said in a voice heavy with sadness. 

Kevin slid his arm around Edd and pulled him close. “I am sorry, Dee,” he repeated. “You know I’d never do anything against your wishes.“

Edd tensed up again, but Kevin wouldn’t let him go, hoping Edd would believe in everything he said. It seemed he did when, after a few minutes, Edd’s body relaxed and the boy leaned against him. “I just hope everything at school goes all right tomorrow.”

“I don’t see why it wouldn’t.”

Edd didn’t answer him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edd is freaking out, and that may seem like an extreme reaction, but there are reasons for it. Some of which I’ve touched on, but his freaking out is going to get worse...and it will all be explained.


	5. I Know You Would Not Hurt Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, this day at school didn't go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning that there are homophobic slurs in this chapter. I'm sorry for it, because I hate it.

**I Know You Would Not Hurt Me**

Getting ready for school was quiet the following morning. Edd was up, showered, and dressed before Kevin woke up. He was full of nervous energy and had a queasy feeling deep in his guts that today was going to go bad. It was a curious feeling, because he believed Kevin. Jake seemed to be a trustworthy individual, as well as nice. His friendship with Kevin appeared to be genuine. Besides, Kevin said Jake had known about them since January and hadn’t said anything. He obviously could keep Kevin’s secrets.

And, just as obviously, didn’t care that Kevin was gay. 

That was more reassuring than Jake’s silence. It was the focus of Edd’s thoughts as he prepared oatmeal for their breakfast. He hoped the bland food would settle his upset stomach. Jake’s friendship meant a lot to Kevin, and it made Edd feel better to know Kevin wouldn’t lose it. Or would he? Would Jake be the type of person to drop Kevin if others turned against him? Edd didn’t think so, but Edd didn’t know Jake well enough to judge.

It was partly his own fault, of course. Edd never initiated any type of friendship with Jake. Edd never spoke to him at the lunch table. Edd rarely spoke up at all at the table.

He sighed, poking a wooden spoon into the pot to give it a stir _. ‘Focus on your day,’_ he told himself. Edd found that going over his day in his head sometimes settled his thoughts, so he reviewed his schedule. School, of course, and he mentally listed his classes. Come home and get ready to go out. They planned on dinner somewhere – Kevin hadn’t told him where yet – as a sort of celebration of their five-month anniversary. Nothing big, Kevin assured him. Just them, though. Then home to spend the rest of the evening with homework. 

They should spend time with Sylvie and Pete this week, he mused to himself. Edd didn’t want Kevin’s parents to think he’d completely stolen Kevin away. He smiled as he got bowls down for the meal. Yes. Tomorrow would be a good day to spend the evening with them. But tonight was their night. He was sure Kevin would want to celebrate a little more privately with him.

It was also a strange feeling in his heart that he knew came from Kevin telling Jake. They had promised to keep it secret and Kevin hadn't. Edd didn't know what to think about it, let alone what to do about it. He knew it was an accident and that Kevin wouldn't deliberately tell anyone, but Edd's nerves were keyed up and he had no idea what to say when Kevin came downstairs.

Kevin entered the kitchen, yawning and still blinking sleep out of his eyes. He’d at least showered and dressed, so Edd pointed him to the table. Instead, Kevin came over to kiss him on the cheek and mutter a “Happy Anniversary” to him before scooping out his portion. Edd chuckled, murmured a “Happy Anniversary” in return, then gently directed his sleepy lover toward his seat. Okay, that wasn't too bad. It was their anniversary, and while not an important one, it was still nice that Kevin remembered.

They ate in silence, Edd eating his oatmeal plain and Kevin loading his with brown sugar and cream. Edd wasn’t sure what to say. They hadn’t talked much after their little spat the night before. It left Edd emotionally drained and caught up in his mind. Kevin, he knew, felt guilty, but he could also tell Kevin didn’t know what to say other than sorry. They had gotten out of bed, cleaned up, and put together a quick dinner. Thank goodness Edd had homework to concentrate on, or he might have ended up screaming.

When they went to bed, Kevin held him as usual, the koala hold they’d fallen into soon after sleeping together every night. Kevin practically lay on top of him, arms tightly squeezing him, legs tangled, and face buried into the hair at the nape of his neck. Edd thought it should feel uncomfortable, but Kevin’s weight was a comfort and helped him to sleep better than he ever had. 

It was no different the previous night, for which Edd was grateful. The way his thoughts jumbled in his head, he needed the normalcy of their routine. He tried not to think too much about what might happen at school the next day – if Jake would tell everyone or not – but he couldn’t help it. He pictured how school would be where he could walk down the hall holding Kevin’s hand, or kissing Kevin on his cheek at his locker, and he loved the thought. However, with Kevin’s soft snores ruffling his hair, he also pictured faceless classmates making fun of Kevin, or hurting him. The thought kept creeping back into his mind no matter what he did.

“I was thinking of going to the diner tonight, if that’s okay?” Kevin suddenly asked.

Edd stirred, pushing his thoughts back down into his mind to focus on Kevin. “That would be nice.”

“I know it’s not fancy or anything. Not for an anniversary,” Kevin admitted, poking his oatmeal to form a pool of cream on the top. Edd watched Kevin scrape his spoon away from the little pool to make it into a stream. “Maybe we can do something nicer for our sixth?”

“You know I do not require ‘fancy’ to be happy,” Edd said.

“I know. Doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it,” Kevin countered. After taking a bite of his breakfast, Kevin continued. “I’m just glad you want to go.”

Edd looked up at him. “Why would I not want to?” he asked with surprise.

Kevin shrugged, not raising his eyes. “I was afraid you’d still be mad at me.”

“Oh,” Edd said. He studied Kevin, noting his boyfriend’s nervous movements and posture. Edd was so wrapped up in his own worries; he forgot Kevin was the other side of their little fight. He felt a shaft of guilt join the nauseous feeling in his gut. “I was.” Kevin’s eyes darted up to him, his expression upset. Edd smiled, though. “That is the past tense, Kevin. I was, but I also know it was an honest mistake.”

“It was,” Kevin said.

“I know. I know you would not hurt me. Not on purpose.”

“Of course I wouldn’t, Dee.”

“I know,” Edd repeated.

“Good,” he said. “I don’t like fighting.”

Edd reached over and put his hand on top of Kevin’s. “It was not a true fight, I think. I am sorry I got upset. I should have said that before we went to sleep.”

Kevin flipped his hand so their palms pressed together. “Mom did tell me when we started dating that it’s important not to go to bed angry.”

“It is good advice,” Edd agreed. He wondered, though, if it was advice he’d be able to follow should it come to it. Edd knew he hated confrontation, and the thought of having a confrontation with Kevin made his stomach turn more. The few times they came close to arguing caused Edd anxiety enough that he was happy it defused quickly so he would not have to face the question. 

Kevin squeezed his hand, then went back to his breakfast. His demeanor seemed happier, at least. Edd, however, felt uneasy and felt a certain amount of dread for this day.

* * *

The feeling of dread stuck with Edd like a dark cloud through the morning. Since Kevin trusted his friend, Edd knew he should too, but he couldn’t shake the feeling something would happen at some point. 

Nothing did, and by lunch he was breathing a little easier, though he was nervous to go to their table and sit across from Jake. It must be his sense of unease influencing him.

He was the last of his group of friends to arrive, though most of Kevin’s teammates and the cheerleaders who normally sat with them had not. Just Jake. Edd placed his lunchbox on the table in front of him, mumbling return greetings to the others, who all said hello to him. He sat down, avoiding eye contact.

He could feel Jake’s gaze on him, however. Against his will, his eyes darted up.

Jake, for his part, watched Edd arrive with curiosity. He’d never gotten to know the silent boy who always sat across from him. Sure, Edd responded to him with short answers whenever Jake did say something to him, but Jake could never think of much to say. He knew Edd was incredibly smart, so Jake figured he would sound stupid to the genius. 

Yet, looking at him now, Jake was surprised at the pure fear in Edd’s eyes as he held his gaze. He also could see, now that he looked at Edd objectively, what Kevin saw in him. He was a cute kid. And those eyes. Wow. Jake had never seen such a beautiful color, backed by an apparent intelligence, if you took out the terror. Was Edd that scared of what Jake knew?

Jake attempted a smile at him, but it got no response. Kevin wasn’t kidding when he said Edd was scared of their relationship being known. Jake hadn’t had a chance to talk to Kevin yet today, so he wasn’t sure how Edd took the knowledge that he knew. He guessed the confession had not gone well.

He felt he should reassure Edd that everything would be fine and that Edd could trust him. Since no one had joined their table yet, Jake leaned forward and said in a low tone, “I know Kevin told you I know. You don’t have to worry about me saying anything, Double D. I promise your secret is safe with me.”

Edd nodded slowly, his eyes darting to look at Kevin briefly. Kevin watched the exchange intensely. “I appreciate that, Jake,” Edd finally said. He opened his mouth to say more, but by then three others, Ben, Joel, and Jason, arrived with their lunches, so Edd turned his gaze down and started to eat mechanically.

Kevin and Jake looked at each other. Kevin mouthed ‘thank you’ to him and Jake winked back. They both noticed Nazz, Eddy, and Rolf all giving them strange looks and Kevin murmured, “Tell you later,” which had to satisfy them for the present.

“Hey Kev!” Joel called over. “Awesome show yesterday. Voted for you!”

Kevin laughed. “Thanks, man.” 

Ben looked at his friend. “You voted for him? There wasn’t any voting.”

“What do you mean there wasn’t any voting?”

“It was a talent show. Not a competition.”

“Well, I wrote Kev’s name on a piece of paper and stuck it in a box.”

Almost everyone laughed at Joel, who looked put out. “I don’t know what you voted on, but it wasn’t the talent show,” Jake said.

Two girls arrived - two of the cheerleaders - and squeezed themselves at the table beyond the three young men. 

“It was still a good performance,” Joel insisted, his cheeks red.

“Weren’t you nervous?” Maddie asked, leaning forward to direct her question to Kevin.

“Oh, yeah, a lot. But I really wanted to do this, so I just sucked it up and went for it.”

As the conversation turned to the talent show, Edd stopped eating and stared into his container of food. _‘Oh, dear, this is not good,’_ he thought.

“So, Kev,” Jackie drawled, “who’s the lucky girl you sang the song to?”

Definitely not good. Edd was not surprised that Kevin’s friends would ask him about the song.

Kevin laughed, and Edd could detect the nervous waver in it. “Oh, just someone.”

“C’mon, Kev, she has to have a name.”

“Uh, yeah. We want to keep it on the down low for now.”

The five sitting on that end stared at Kevin. “What?” Maddie asked. “Why would you want to do that?”

“Is she hideous?” Jason asked with a laugh.

“Or a teacher?” Ben tossed in.

“Or both? It’s not Mrs. Peterson, is it?” Joel added.

Kevin laughed again. “No, none of those. Mrs. Peterson turned me down,” he joked, getting a laugh from those at the other end of the table. Edd heard nothing from his friends, and a quick glance at them showed Eddy, Nazz, and Rolf all watching the exchange with fixed, wooden smiles on their faces. 

“Well, the biggest question is,” Jason said, “did that performance get you laid?”

“Ugh, Jason, you pig!” Maddie exclaimed, throwing her plastic spoon at him. “It’s none of your business!” 

Jason ducked, raising his hands. “Hey, it’s a fair question. Guy only does something like that to get laid.”

“Not everyone is a jerk like you, asshole!”

Jason ignored her. “So, c’mon Kev. Did you get some for it?”

Kevin had blushed. “What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom,” was all he answered.

“In other words, yes,” Jason reasoned, getting a small chuckle from Joel and Ben. Maddie and Jackie made disgusted noises, while no one on Kevin’s end of the table made a sound.

“Just knock it off, dude,” Jake said.

“I’m just funning with him, dick,” Jason said. His expression was still amused, though there was a vicious tone in his voice. Jason joined them at the table often, though Edd knew not many of the others liked him. He had a mean streak and often said rude things to and about others. Edd didn’t like him. He knew Kevin surely didn’t.

“It’s not funny.”

“Says you.”

“So, who is it Kev?” Jackie asked again.

“I don’t want to say,” Kevin said, looking at Nazz.

“It’s not Nazz, is it?” Ben asked with a sly look at Eddy, who bristled.

Nazz laughed it off. “Uh, no. Kev knows I’m happy with Eddy.”

“What’s the big deal, Kev?” Ben asked. 

Kevin shrugged. “Nothing. We just don’t want anyone to know yet.”

“Maybe cause it’s a dude?” Jason asked.

Everyone went quiet and Edd froze. He felt he couldn’t get his mind to work. One thought pressed on his brain – _‘Kevin is going to out us. He told Jake, he’s going to tell everyone else.’_

“That’s not even funny, Jason, you prick,” Maddie chided him.

“Is that it, Kev? You fucking a guy?”

“What the fuck, asshole?” Jake asked angrily.

Jason shrugged. “Bet it’s Ed.”

Kevin snapped his gaze onto Jason. “What?”

“You sit next to him every day,” Jason pointed out, gesturing at Ed, who sat blissfully smiling next to Kevin. Even Edd finally looked down the table to Ed. “What? Are you playing footsie under the table and holding hands?”

Kevin laughed, and Edd could hear the giddiness of relief in his laughter. Kevin nodded then, putting his arm around Ed, who smiled happily at Kevin. “Yeah, dude. He’s my man. We’re very happy together!”

At this, Ed frowned and looked over to Edd confusedly. “No, we’re not Kevin! You don’t love me, you love OUCH! Who kicked me?”

“Oh, did I?” Nazz asked innocently. “My foot slipped.”

“Ah, so all your friends know your secret lover,” Jason said, leaning his elbows on the table and staring intently at Kevin, whose smile had faded somewhat.

“What if we do?” Eddy asked in a belligerent tone. 

“Come on, Kev? Are you dating a guy?” Jason pressed.

Kevin looked at Nazz again, who returned his look with a neutral expression. His eyes then flickered to Rolf, Ed, and Eddy, who all returned the same expression Nazz did. He finally met Edd’s eyes for the first time since this had started. 

“So, what if I am?”

Edd’s eyes widened and he felt pressure on his arm from Eddy, enough to help ground him. He couldn’t believe Kevin had just outed himself.

Jason snorted. The expressions on Joel, Ben, Maddie, and Jackie’s faces were shocked, and Jason looked at all of them quickly before looking back at Kevin and his friends. “None of them are surprised,” Jason said, gesturing to their end of the table. “Must be true then. You’re a fag, huh?”

“First of all, you fuck,” Kevin said in a voice that was all the more terrible because it was calm and quiet, “don’t call me that. I’m gay. Second of all, it’s none of your fucking business that I am. Third, it’s also none of your fucking business who I’m dating. So, back off or I’ll beat the shit out of you.”

Jason laughed, turning to look at Joel and Ben, who looked confused. “What a captain we have gentlemen. Keep your pants on in the locker room.”

Joel and Ben frowned, but didn’t look at Kevin. Edd returned to staring at his food.

“Just tell us, captain,” Jason taunted.

“I told you it’s none of your fucking business.”

“Tell us. Who’s your queer boyfriend?”

Edd took a deep breath and looked up at Kevin. He could tell Kevin had reached his limit – he looked ready to lunge down the table and punch the sneer off Jason. He was surprised at how calm he felt himself, but he also felt angry. Kevin was going to out them, and he couldn’t allow that. He couldn’t allow Kevin to say it for him. The chair scraped loudly as he pushed away from the table, a sound he focused on in the noisy cafeteria, and he stood up, wishing he was taller.

He caught Kevin’s surprised look before he turned to fix his eyes on Jason, who looked up at Edd with a confused expression. 

“Kevin is dating me,” Edd said in a quiet and dignified voice, then turned and walked toward the door with his head held high.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Edd...


	6. We Came Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damage control...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry for the delay! Having Covid sucks! Thankfully both myself and my husband had mild symptoms, but those were bad enough. I spent most of the time feeling very tired and out of focus, so I got no writing done...which sucked because I had two weeks in isolation! It would have been perfect, but most days I couldn’t stay out of bed for long.
> 
> Good news is that I feel almost back to 100%, as does the hubby, and isolation is over. I really want to bring this whole story to you, so I’ll do my best to make up for the delays!

**We Came Out**

No one at the table said anything as Edd retreated for the door. Edd had just gotten to the cafeteria entrance when Kevin’s shock wore off. “Shit, Dee!” he shouted. “Dee! Wait!” He scrambled from his chair and dashed after his boyfriend.

The cafeteria was on the third floor of their high school, and Edd was halfway down the first flight of stairs by the time Kevin caught up to him. Edd hadn’t responded to Kevin’s shout and he jumped when Kevin grabbed his arm at the second-floor landing.

“Dee?” Kevin asked, concerned as Edd’s eyes turned on him, slightly out of focus. “Dee?”

He ignored the few students who passed them with curious glances. Kevin did realize they were in the way of foot traffic, so, holding Edd’s upper arm, he pulled the boy from the stairwell into the second-floor hallway and kept walking down the mostly empty corridor looking for somewhere for privacy. He could hear Edd’s breath starting to catch. His boyfriend must have begun to realize what he’d done.

“Kevin?”

He stopped, Edd bumping lightly into him. It was Mrs. Travers, his Geometry teacher. She was at the door to her classroom, holding a coffee cup, and looked at him and Edd with concern.

“Is everything okay?” she asked.

“Um, not really,” he answered, looking up and down the hallway. “Uh, can we come in your classroom for a minute? Edd needs somewhere quiet.”

The teacher studied both boys, her head tilted slightly, then stepped aside. “Yes, of course. Come in,” she invited.

Kevin guided Edd into the classroom and over next to Mrs. Travers’ desk. Her husband, Mr. Travers, the Health Education teacher and Kevin’s baseball coach, looked up at them in surprise. He was seated in a chair pulled up to his wife’s desk and stood up when the boys came in. Once the door closed, Kevin pulled Edd into a hug and the boy clung tightly to him, his arms around Kevin’s middle and his face hidden in his chest. Kevin could feel Edd shaking.

Mrs. Travers gave the pair a moment. Kevin’s pressed his cheek against the top of Edd’s head. “Kevin,” she finally said softly, “what happened? Is Eddward okay?”

Kevin lifted his head to gaze at their teacher and his coach, who now stood next to his wife. “Um,” he hedged. “We kind of,” he paused as he felt Edd’s grip tighten. “We came out.”

It took a moment for Mrs. Travers to understand. “You’re…together?” she asked.

Kevin nodded then turned his eyes away. He didn’t want to see Coach Travers’ face. He felt Edd turn his head, probably so he could breathe. The boy kept hitching his breath, but he hadn’t started crying yet as far as Kevin could tell. Kevin pressed a kiss on the top of his hat. “We just sort of announced it to everyone at our table in the cafeteria.”

“Ah, I see,” she replied sympathetically. 

Before anything else could be said, there was a chime from a phone. Kevin recognized it as Edd’s text notification. “That’s probably Eddy, Dee. Do you want me to check?”

He felt Edd nod, though the boy didn’t release his death grip. Kevin reached into Edd’s front pocket for the phone and looked at it over Edd’s shoulder. It was Eddy, asking if Edd were okay.

“Eddy wants to know if you’re okay,” he said softly. “Want me to answer?”

Edd nodded again, so Kevin keyed in the unlock code and responded, typing awkwardly with the thumb of the hand holding the phone. “this is kevin edds with me hes not ok but im with him.”

Eddy texted immediately back. “Where are you?”

“Dee?” he asked. “Eddy wants to know where you are. Do you want him here? And Ed?”

“Yes, Kevin,” Edd said in a small voice.

“Nazz and Rolf will probably come too, do you want them to stay away?”

“No.”

Kevin texted back “travers room 214”

It took a few minutes for their friends to get there. Eddy didn’t bother to knock; he barged into the room and stalked over to Kevin and Edd. He didn’t say anything, but Edd loosened his grip on Kevin and stepped away. He was immediately engulfed by both Ed and Eddy, cocooning their friend in a three-way hug.

Rolf, Nazz, and Jake had stopped just inside the door, so Kevin, Mrs. Travers, and Coach Travers moved over to them, giving the Eds privacy.

“Is Edd okay?” Nazz asked in a soft voice, not meant to be heard by the trio on the other side of the room.

“He hasn’t said anything,” Kevin answered helplessly in a similar quiet voice. “I don’t know.”

“What exactly happened?” Coach Travers asked.

Kevin reached up and rubbed at his temples with his fingertips. “Some of our friends were bugging me about who I sang that damn song to yesterday. I wouldn’t answer. Jason suggested it was a guy and kept nagging me. This is my fault.”

“Kevin, he was egging you on. It’s not your fault,” Nazz told him.

“I should have ignored him. I didn’t expect Edd to say anything.”

“What happened next?” Mrs. Travers pressed.

“I admitted it was a guy. I just said that I’m gay. I have no idea why. I promised Edd not to say anything,” Kevin said in a guilty tone. He sighed, “Jason and me were getting into an argument and he kept asking who it was. I wasn’t going to tell him, I swear. But Edd just looked at me, stood up, and told Jason it was him. I can’t believe he did that. Then he just left and I chased after him.”

Nazz snaked her arm around Kevin’s waist, while Rolf’s went around his shoulders. They all stood, watching the Eds comfort Edd. Kevin ached to be the one there holding him, but he knew the Eds served as a very calming presence for his boyfriend, and Edd was probably mad at him on some level.

“That was brave of him,” Mrs. Travers finally said.

“Yeah,” Kevin agreed. “But he didn’t want to do it this way. I don’t think he ever wanted to do this. I don’t know what to do.”

“You probably should take him home, Kevin,” his coach suggested. 

“Yes,” his wife agreed. “He won’t be able to go to his last two classes anyway. Edd is in my class last period. Doesn’t he have French before mine?” When Kevin nodded, she continued, “I’ll let Madame Cauchon know that Edd had to go home. Who teaches your last two classes?”

“Mr. Hollingsworth and Mrs. Pope,” Kevin answered, his eyes still on Edd. “And then practice…”

“I think you can be excused from practice today, Kevin,” the Coach said kindly.

“I’ll inform your teachers as well.”

“What’s your locker combo, Kev,” Jake said. “I’ll go get your stuff.”

Kevin told him the combination and Jake left. Kevin wriggled out of Nazz and Rolf’s embrace and went to Edd. “I’ve got this, guys,” he said quietly to the Eds.

Eddy shot Kevin a glare, that softened quickly. He nodded, and he and Ed let go of Edd so that the boy could return to clinging to Kevin. “Can you go grab his stuff from his locker?” Kevin asked Eddy. “I’m just gonna take him home.”

Eddy nodded and grabbed Ed by his arm to drag the taller boy out. “C’mon Lumpy.”

“But Double D, Eddy. He’s sad.”

“We’re helping him this way. Let Kevin comfort him.”

“But we always do…” Kevin heard Ed’s protest as they disappeared through the door.

Edd had burrowed his face into Kevin’s chest again. Kevin leaned his butt against Mrs. Travers’ desk and held Edd close while they waited. “Dee? I’m taking you home, okay?”

“But my classes…” Edd mumbled thickly.

“Mrs. Travers said it’s okay to miss today and she’s going to talk to your French teacher and tell her what happened.”

It took a few moments for Edd to finally nod.

“I don’t think you’re in any shape to sit in class right now anyway, sweetheart,” Kevin whispered to him.

Jake returned first, as Kevin’s locker wasn’t far from Mrs. Travers’ class. He held Kevin’s bookbag and a light jacket. 

“Why don’t you, Rolf, and Nazz head to class. It’s almost time for the bell to ring,” Coach Travers said. 

The three nodded. “We’ll be over after practice, Kevin,” Nazz assured him.

“We’ll be at Dee’s,” he told her.

After they left, the coach looked at his wife. “I’m sure the boys don’t want to run into anyone. You brought your bike, Kevin?”

“Yes, sir.”

“The parking lot is probably full of students coming back. There’ll be students in this classroom soon and the halls. How do we get them out?”

“I guess they can sit in the main office until everyone is back in class,” Mrs. Travers said thoughtfully. “At least they’ll avoid almost everyone. Is that okay, Kevin?”

“Anything to make this easier on Edd,” Kevin said. “That okay, sweetheart?”

Edd nodded and pulled himself from Kevin’s embrace, running his arm across his face. Kevin grabbed a few tissues from the box on the teacher's desk for him, which Edd accepted gratefully. The Eds returned at that moment with Edd’s bag and jacket. His lunchbox was already on one of the student desks. Nazz must have grabbed it before they chased after Kevin and Edd.

Edd wasn’t meeting his eyes, which worried Kevin. “Come on, let’s get to the office before there’s a bunch of kids in the hallways,” he suggested, touching Edd’s elbow to get him moving. 

It worked. Edd allowed Kevin to direct him. The small teen looked even smaller at the moment, lost and dazed as he was. Mrs. Travers went in the direction of Mr. Hollingsworth’s classroom, while Coach Travers accompanied them all down the hall, down the stairs, and into the main office. They passed many other students walking through the halls to their own lockers or classes, and all gave the small group curious looks. Kevin imagined that his worried expression, Edd’s lost one, and the angry expression on Eddy’s face was probably confusing. He also knew that the news that he and Edd were a couple would travel fast throughout the school, but at least for now, it looked as if it hadn’t spread far and wide yet.

The school admin assistant looked up as the group came into the office. Edd cringed against Ed as he noticed that the front office was exposed to the hallway. Two of the walls were glass. Coach must have noticed it too, because he asked Mr. Chalders, the assistant, if Edd and Kevin could wait in the Assistant Principal’s office. Mr. Chalders looked at Kevin and the Eds then nodded. “She’s at lunch,” he told Coach Travers. “Will the boys need to wait long?”

“Just until everyone is back in their classrooms.”

“Do they need to speak to Mrs. Halsey?”

“No. But Kevin Barr and Eddward Vincent will be going home. I’ll explain later.”

Kevin noticed the frown as they followed the coach into the small office. Eddy told Edd they would be over after school was out, then dragged Ed out to go to their classes. 

“Once you hear the bell, Kev, you should be clear to head out?” When Kevin nodded, he continued. “I need to get to my sixth-period class, but if you need anything, let me know, okay?”

“Thanks, Coach,” he replied.

“Yes, thank you, Coach Travers,” Edd said in his polite way, though his voice was still rough.

“My pleasure, boys. Come to either me or Clara at any time. For anything.”

Once he left, Kevin wrapped Edd up in his arms again. He honestly didn’t know what to say. Edd’s silence unnerved him. Edd had just outed himself and their relationship and had nothing to say to Kevin about it? Kevin expected anger or even hysteria. Especially after how Edd reacted the evening before when he found out about Jake. Kevin was more worried, however, for when Edd finally let him have it. He knew Edd had to be angry about Kevin coming out and forcing the issue.

The bell ringing startled both of them apart and Kevin finally got a good look at Edd’s face. It was splotchy red, as were his eyes. While Edd hadn’t exactly cried, his eyes were full of tears, which made his long lashes damp. “How ‘bout I get you home, sweetheart?” Kevin asked as he reached up to cradle Edd’s cheeks in his hands. 

“I think that is a good idea, Kevin,” Edd said, his tone subdued. Edd had briefly met his eyes, but they were soon downcast for a moment before his lids closed fully.

Mr. Chalders watched them curiously as they silently passed by on their way out of the office. Kevin could see that the hallways were clear. He had Edd’s messenger bag hooked across his body, as well as his own bookbag on his shoulder. He didn’t dare touch Edd, though he wanted to do something – hold his hand or his arm as they walked down the hall toward the back door that led to the parking lot. The halls were quiet, save for the muted voices of teachers beginning their lectures that filtered through closed doors as they walked past.

Kevin pushed the door open for Edd, who squinted at the bright April sunlight. He stepped through the door, then stopped short so that Kevin bumped into him. “What’s wrong, Dee?”

Edd just pointed to the side. Kevin understood. The parking lot was in the back, tucked behind one wing of the high school. At least six classrooms faced the lot and Kevin knew that any students sitting in the rooms could see them leave the building. 

“There’s nothing for it, Dee,” he said in what he hoped was a soothing tone. “The bike’s right there,” he gestured to his red motorcycle parked in one of the front spots. “If we want to get out of the building we’re going to have to go by some of the classrooms. Maybe it hasn’t spread too much yet.”

Edd nodded and Kevin saw him swallow and press his lips together. Edd straightened up as well, pulling his shoulders back as he tried to stand as tall as he could. “You are right, Kevin. Let us just get to your bike and go. They all know now. Or they will. There is no need to hide it.”

Without saying anything, the pair went to the bike. Kevin thought he might be imagining things, but it did feel like dozens of pairs of eyes were suddenly focused on him. It made him self-conscious in a way he’d never experienced. He’d been the center of attention many times, but he wasn’t sure how to take the attention from something like this. He wanted to be out, but he wasn’t stupid enough to not know what may happen to him now that he was. He didn’t care about his social status as much, that stuff never meant anything to him. He was more worried about losing his friends. He didn’t miss the expressions on Ben and Joel’s faces when Edd made his announcement.

Kevin unhooked Edd’s helmet and handed it to the boy before putting their bags inside. He unlocked his helmet from the handlebars he usually attached them to and put it on. Edd followed suit, buckling the strap under his chin. Kevin mounted the bike and put in the key as he felt Edd climb up behind him. Edd’s arms snaked around his middle and he felt Edd’s helmet press against his back. Despite everything, Kevin couldn’t help but smile as he started his bike, backed it up, and finally drove Edd away from school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always...find me on Twitter @ devoosha - sometimes I’m funny.
> 
> My fanfiction writing is linked on Tumblr @devooshawrites!


	7. Don't You Dare Blame This on Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edd's reaction...is not good...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again...sorry for the delay. Holidays were stressful and dealing with Covid and going back to work...I ended up pushing a lot of the editing to the start of the year.
> 
> If you follow me on Tumblr, you actually got a preview of a couple of the paragraphs. I posted nine snippets from stuff I wrote in 2020 and included a snip from this chapter :)

**Don't You Dare Blame This on Me**

“Can I get you anything?”

Edd shook his head, though he stood in the middle of his living room with that same lost look he had at school. 

“You sure?”

“Yes, Kevin, I am sure.”

If Kevin didn’t know better, he thought he could finally detect a hint of anger in Edd’s tone, though the boy certainly didn’t express it. Yet. Kevin felt as if he were walking on eggshells. He left Edd alone for a moment so that he could put their bags in the kitchen at the table. He grabbed two bottles of water in case Edd was thirsty, then returned to the living room. Edd still stood there. Kevin put the water bottles on the table next to the couch and sat down. “Come here, sweetheart.”

Edd turned toward Kevin, though he wouldn’t look Kevin directly in the eye. He seemed to consider it, then came over and crawled onto Kevin’s lap. Kevin knew there’d probably be angry words, possibly a fight later, but for right now, Edd just needed comfort. 

Kevin cradled him almost like a baby. Edd sat sideways, his feet resting on the couch cushion next to Kevin, and tucked his head under Kevin’s chin. They didn’t say anything, simply sat as Kevin held him, pressing the occasional kiss on Edd’s bare head as Kevin had slid off his hat.

They stayed like that for nearly half an hour. Kevin wasn’t about to push him to talk. He knew Edd would when he was ready. Kevin just listened to Edd’s breathing and enjoyed the feel of Edd’s forefinger, which was absently tracing designs on one side of his chest. Although he had learned to read his boyfriend pretty well over the past five months, he couldn’t tell what Edd was thinking now or even what the boy felt.

“I cannot believe I did that.”

Edd’s voice, small and quiet as it was, sounded loud in the silent room. Kevin had no idea how to respond. 

“It’ll be okay, sweetheart.”

He heard the sharp intake of Edd’s breath. “Do not do that.”

“Do what?”

He felt Edd move for the first time. He loosened his grip enough so that Edd could sit up straighter and finally look Kevin. The blue-green eyes looking at him were hard and angry, which Kevin expected. “Do not call me that.”

“Dee…”

“How could you do that, Kevin?” Edd cried, his tone breaking Kevin’s heart. “How could you do that to me? To us? On an anniversary!”

Edd was startled when Kevin’s expression hardened. Edd’s whole head was a mess of confused emotions and thoughts. For one of the first times in his life he felt completely helpless. He knew he shouldn’t be angry with Kevin, but he had to be. He needed to be angry with someone or something. 

“Don’t you do that, Edd. Don’t you dare blame this on me.”

Edd swallowed, struggling to control the tears that had not yet fallen. Kevin never spoke harshly to him and his loving boyfriend’s voice was so stern. “You outed us, Kevin.”

“I outed myself, Edd. I didn’t out us. You were the one who told everyone we were together.”

Edd didn’t want to hear the truth. He struggled a bit in Kevin’s arms, but Kevin held on to him tightly. “Kevin, let me go.”

“No.”

Edd twisted his body around, pressing his palms against Kevin’s chest and pushing, trying to get out of his boyfriends’ embrace. “Let me go!”

“No, Edd. We’re talking about this.”

“I do not want to talk to you. Please let me go.”

“No.”

Edd still struggled, using all his strength to push himself out of the arms around him, but Kevin was much stronger than him and he mentally cursed himself for being weak. He once again couldn’t meet Kevin’s eyes. “Kevin!”

“You will talk to me, Edd. You’re not avoiding this.”

Edd stopped pushing against Kevin and turned, his arms crossing across his own chest. “I cannot believe you would do this to me.”

“What did I do to you, Edd?” Kevin asked calmly.

Edd winced. Kevin was using his name, not his pet name, and that was what almost had Edd crying. “You promised me you would not tell anyone about us until I was ready.”

Kevin sighed. “I kept my promise.”

“No, you did not.”

“I did, Edd. I said I wouldn’t tell anyone about us. I didn’t. I only said that I'm gay.”

Edd wasn’t in the mood for logic or semantics. “It is the same thing.”

“How?”

“You told them you are gay. You indicated at the talent show you were in love with someone. How long do you think it would take for anyone at the school to put two and two together and figure out you loved me?”

“I don’t know. A few days? A few weeks? Never? I don’t think anyone cares as much as you think they do.”

“In that you are wrong.”

“Then why speed it up by announcing it yourself?”

“I spoke up because I wanted to own it. I did not want to be outed by someone else. Not even you. I wanted to say it before you did.”

“Before I did?”

“Yes, before you told them all it was me.”

“Hey!” Kevin exclaimed. “How can you accuse me of that?”

“You were about to say my name.”

They were quiet for a few minutes. The silence unnerved Edd so he turned his head enough to bring Kevin into his view and was surprised to see tears in Kevin’s eyes. When their eyes caught, Kevin finally spoke. “That’s what you think of me? You think I would do that to you? That hurts.”

Edd blinked fast a few times, his own eyes stinging again. “Kevin…”

“No. It hurts me a lot that you’d think that.” Edd’s heart squeezed tightly at hearing the pain in Kevin’s tone. “I think I’ve been pretty fucking patient about this whole thing. I’ve spent five months hiding this from people I care about. All for you. I’ve kept quiet about the best thing in my life – something I’m proud of. I love that I love you. I love that you love me. You make me happier than anything in my whole life, and I can’t tell anyone about it. I have to pretend I’m straight, that I enjoy when girls hit on me, that I like locker room talk about girls – all the while knowing that I’m not that person and that I have someone waiting for me at home that makes it all worth it.”

Edd was overwhelmed. To be sure, Kevin often indicated that he wanted to come out, but he’d never told Edd so passionately about it, and he’d never fully articulated how he felt.

When Edd didn’t say anything, Kevin continued. “I realized I promised not to say anything about us. I never promised not to say anything about me. I’m tired of hiding who I am, Edd. Tired. The half-truths are killing me. I don’t like being dishonest, you know that. I’m proud that I’m gay. I’m proud of what we have. I was fucking selfish once in this relationship and did something for me, when all I’ve done since November was do what you wanted. Without even understanding fully why. You aren’t telling me the whole truth, either. I know that. And I still kept this secret. Because I love you. But I’ll be damned if you blame this on me.”

Edd raised his hands to cover his face and finally let the tears go. He sobbed, loudly, into his hands and felt Kevin’s arms tighten around him again, pulling the smaller boy against his chest to let him cry. He felt so scared and guilty. He didn’t deserve Kevin. Because Kevin was right. It had all been about what Edd wanted from the beginning. Edd had never once even tried to compromise with Kevin about this. He knew the whole time how Kevin felt; how Kevin was ready to come out, but Edd would never even listen to him. It was all his fault.

Kevin pressed his face into Edd’s hair, murmuring things that Edd could hardly make out. It only made him sob harder and Kevin just let him. Kevin was always like this, infinitely patient with him over everything. Edd knew how lucky he was, and he also knew that Kevin was an honest person, so to expect Kevin to live a lie for so long was selfish of Edd, though Edd did it for Kevin.

“I am so sorry, Kevin,” Edd finally choked out between sobs. “So sorry.”

“Sweetheart…” and the term of endearment pierced at his heart, “…don’t be sorry.”

“I am though,” Edd said, letting his hands fall into his lap, though he still kept the side of his head pressed against Kevin’s chest. “I did not mean to accuse you of anything. I am just angry at myself and lashed out at you. That was incredibly stupid of me.”

“You could never be stupid…”

“Everyone can be stupid,” Edd snapped, then took a deep breath. “I am sorry. I am just so scared.”

“I know, baby, I know.”

“No, Kevin, you do not. You said you do not fully understand my fear. That is my fault, because I never fully explained it to you.”

“I understand, Dee,” and Edd’s heart lifted a little at finally hearing his pet name. “I know you’re scared that you might get hurt or picked on.”

“No,” Edd contradicted as he reached up to wipe at his cheeks. “I do not much care what happens to me, Kevin. I am used to it. I am scared for you.”

“Me?” Kevin asked blankly. He had no idea what Edd meant.

“You do not know what it is like to be the victim of bullying, Kevin. You are popular and well liked by everyone in our school, teachers and students alike. You may not care about your social status, because I think you do not appreciate it. If you were to lose it, I am afraid it would hurt you. As for bullying,” Kevin felt Edd shrug his shoulders a little, “I never want you to experience that. It is humiliating, emasculating, and terrifying. It is also a very real possibility that you may lose your friends, and I know how important they are to you.”

Kevin was quiet for a moment, then said, “You’re the most important person to me, Dee. If I lose friends because I love you, then they were never friends in the first place. Will it hurt? I’m sure it will, but if my friends can’t accept me for who I am,” he shrugged. “I don’t need them.” He settled his chin on Edd’s head as he gathered his thoughts. “This whole time you’ve been afraid for me? Not for yourself?”

Edd sighed. “Yes, Kevin. To be sure, I did not look forward to more negative attention toward myself. I am sure no one would care or be surprised that I am gay, but I was worried that I would have some repercussions from dating you.” He continued, though Kevin tried to voice a protest, “No, it is true. I am afraid that your teammates might do something for making their captain gay.”

“They wouldn’t think that.”

“They might, though, Kevin. Yet, I did not very much care about that. I know that I can handle the bullying. I have handled it my whole life. I do not like it, but I can handle it. I was afraid that you would not be able to handle it and would think I was not worth the trouble.”

Edd said this last statement in a small voice, his face still hidden from Kevin. Kevin felt as if his heart had frozen. He had no idea Edd’s thoughts ran along these lines. 

“I am just as proud of our relationship, Kevin,” Edd added. “More proud than you can know. I know that I am not a physically strong person, but I had to protect you in the way I thought best. The only way I thought I could. I am so sorry.”

Kevin pushed Edd a little until the boy was sitting up straighter on his lap and reached up to gently turn Edd’s head so that he could see him. “Dee, look at me.” When Edd’s closed eyes opened, his long eyelashes damp with tears, Kevin cupped his cheek, using his thumb to wipe away a couple that fell. “No matter what, sweetheart, you are and always will be worth everything to me. Nothing is going to change that. I love you too much, okay? You don’t have to apologize.”

Edd’s eyes closed again as he pulled away and settled back into his previous position, resting his cheek against Kevin’s chest. His boyfriends’ heartbeat was working to soothe him, along with the pressure of Kevin’s hand on his thigh. “I love you, Kevin,” he sighed, as his tears steadily fell. 

Kevin kissed the top of his head again, then leant his own head back against the couch. Edd cried quietly in his lap until he fell asleep. Kevin smiled slightly when he heard the soft snore that indicated his lover was in dreamland. He guessed that Edd hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before after their small argument. He kissed his head again, gently pulled Edd’s hat back on, then rested his chin on Edd’s head. Things weren’t good at the moment, he knew, and they definitely needed to talk this out more, but for now he just let the exhausted boy sleep.

* * *

After an hour with Edd’s soft snores enticing Kevin into his own doze, Kevin heard the front door open and he immediately raised his hand. Eddy, peeking in, noticed Kevin pointing to the sleeping form in his lap and Eddy nodded, muttered something to Ed behind him, then came in, closing the door quietly. 

Once shoes were off, the Eds joined Kevin in the living room, Eddy slipping onto the couch at Edd’s feet and Ed into the chair. “How is he?” Eddy asked in a voice above a whisper.

“Shaken up,” Kevin answered just as quietly. “I don’t think he got much sleep last night, either. We kind of argued then, too.”

Eddy sighed. “I thought something like this would happen. When he finally did it. What did he say?”

“He blamed me,” Kevin said. 

Eddy frowned. “Why? What did you do?”

“I think he wanted to blame someone and I was there? I don’t know. He thought I broke my promise to him.”

“Technically, you didn’t.”

Kevin was surprised that Eddy took his side. “No. And I told him so. I think he understands. But he was so upset that I don’t think he was thinking clearly.”

“How are you?” Eddy asked, surprising Kevin again.

“I don’t know. Part of me is glad that this happened. Glad that I don’t have to hide it anymore,” he said and Eddy nodded. “But, it breaks my heart to see him so upset.”

“It was bound to come out sooner or later, Kev,” Eddy said. “At least he was able to say it himself.”

“True. Once this sinks in, I think he’ll see that.”

They all sat in silence for a while. Even Ed didn’t say anything. The only sound was the little snores from Edd.

“I texted Nazz to come on in when she gets here, but to come in quietly. She’ll tell Jake and Rolf. She suggested ordering some food from Sal’s. Double D needs to eat something and we figured you guys wouldn’t be up to cooking anything.”

Kevin smiled at him. “You guys are awesome. I don’t know what we’d do without you.”

“You just concentrate on comforting him,” Eddy said, nodding at Edd. 

Their friends arrived ten minutes later, coming in quietly through the front door. Nazz and Rolf knew the routine – shoes off – and indicated to Jake to do the same. Jake looked around curiously as they passed through the living room to the kitchen, Nazz and Rolf shooting Kevin little smiles as they did, and Eddy got up to follow them. Kevin shifted slightly in his seat. He was stiff and sore from sitting still so long. “Hey, Ed?” he said, getting Ed’s attention. “Can you run up and get a couple of pillows from Dee’s bed?”

Ed scampered off to the stairs and Kevin tried to stand up without waking Edd.

“Kevin?” Edd asked sleepily. 

“Shh, sweetheart. Close your eyes. I’m just going to put you on the couch. Ed will be here.”

“The Eds are here?”

“Yeah, baby. Ed is going to sit with you. I’ll be in the kitchen.”

He was on his feet just as Ed returned with the pillows. He put them on the couch and Kevin turned to lower Edd and positioned him comfortably and Ed sat down by Edd’s feet. The boy had already drifted back to sleep.

“Thanks, Ed. Stay here with him, okay?”

“Of course, Kevin!”

Kevin went to the kitchen, squinting at the brightness of the room. Everyone was sitting at the table, except for Nazz, who was poring over a takeout menu from their favorite restaurant that lay on the counter. “What do you think Edd would want?” she asked Kevin.

He shrugged, rubbing at his face. “Not sure,” he said. “Just grab some pizza for all of us, I guess? If that’s okay with everyone?”

There was a murmur of agreement, so Nazz went to the dining room to make the call on her phone.

“Anyone want anything to drink? Edd would kill me if I didn’t play the part of proper host.”

Eddy snorted. “Whatever pop is in the fridge is fine, Kev.”

“Everything okay, Kev?” Jake asked as Kevin retrieved cans of Coke from the fridge for everyone.

“I guess,” he said. “Not really,” he amended, plunking the cans on the table. 

“Pizza’s on the way!” Nazz chimed when she came back.

“We got in a fight. He blamed me. It was a mess. I don’t know what to do,” Kevin said, leaning against the counter.

“I’m not surprised,” Nazz said. “He’s probably in shock. Don’t take anything he says to heart, Kev.”

“I’m trying. Getting blamed doesn’t help.” He groaned, covering his face. “We’ve never fought before. Not really. This sucks.”

“Every couple has these moments, Kev,” Nazz said, putting a hand on his arm. 

“He blamed me, but I wouldn’t take it, and told him so. Then I told him that I’ve kept my promise to him for five months, as much as it killed me. Lying to people I care about,” he said, looking at Jake. “Not being true to who I am. All for him. Even though I didn’t understand what he was afraid of, I still kept the promise. I didn’t like to be selfish today, but I just couldn’t keep it in anymore. I know Jason was being an ass, but I’ve wanted to be out since the start. But I wasn’t going to say I was with him. He thought I was.”

“I don’t think you would have said that,” Eddy said. Everyone looked at him with some surprise, except for Jake. “What? Kev’s an honest guy and would never hurt Double D.”

“I wouldn’t. And I wasn’t going to say his name at all. But he thought I was, so he did it. I get it, but I didn’t force him to.” Kevin looked at Nazz, his eyes pleading. “He said he wanted to keep this secret because he was scared for me. I don’t get that.”

“What did he say?”

“He didn’t want me to lose friends, or my social status,” and here Kevin rolled his eyes. “As if I cared about my popularity. And he didn’t want me to be bullied.”

“Ah,” Nazz said thoughtfully. “I can understand that.”

“I’m glad you can.”

She smiled at him with a little head shake. “Edd understands you better than you understand yourself, Kev. You may not understand the privilege your popularity gets you, but he does. Because of that, things are pretty easy for you at school. You get invited to everything, you make friends with everyone, people always seek you out. Those are things I’m sure Edd has never had. He knows you have this and doesn’t want you to lose it, because he thinks that it would hurt you without you even realizing it until it happened.”

Kevin thought that over. While he did work hard for what he had – good grades and his place on the baseball team – he did have to admit that what Nazz said was true. 

“Besides, losing friends is something that does happen when people come out. Edd, who has never really had friends other than the other Eds and now us, probably thinks you cherish your other friends as much as he cherishes his. I mean, I know you do, but still. It doesn’t surprise me that he’s worried about it.”

“Does he think I care about any of that?”

“Obviously. I understand that _you_ don’t understand how much your popularity gets you, Kevin, but Double D sees it. And he cares enough about you that he doesn’t want you to lose it.”

“Kev, you’re everything to Double D,” Eddy put in. “He’d do anything for you.”

“We’ll stay long enough to make sure he eats. Not,” she said, smiling at the look Kevin shot her, “that I think you’d neglect him no matter how badly you fought. We just want to show him we love him too.” Everyone at the table voiced their agreement. “Then we’ll let you two alone to talk. Don’t let this anger go on too long. I’m not sure how bad the next couple of weeks will be. I can’t even imagine how the kids at school are going to react.”

Eddy grunted. “It’ll be the talk of the school for a day before the next big thing happens.”

“True,” Nazz agreed. “I’ll tell you, Kev, it spread pretty fast. By the end of last period, I think everyone knew. It’s all the girls on the cheerleading team talked about.” Kevin winced.

They heard Ed call Kevin’s name, so Kevin pushed himself from the counter and went into the living room. Edd was sitting up, looking over the back of the couch. “Kevin?”

“Hey, baby,” he said softly, coming around the couch to kneel on the floor next to it. “We ordered some food and it should be here soon. Are you hungry?”

Edd shook his head. “No.”

“You should still eat something. Even just a little. It’s Sal’s pizza. Why don’t you run up and wash your face, okay?”

“Do I look that bad?”

Kevin stroked his cheek. “You never look bad to me, sweetheart. But your face is all tear-stained and red.”

Edd nodded, unable to even muster a small smile. “Alright, Kevin. I shall be back down shortly. Who is here?”

“Nazz, Rolf, Jake, and the Eds.”

“Even Jake?”

Kevin nodded. “Mhm. They’re all concerned about you.”

Edd thought that over. He knew there was a lot he and Kevin still needed to discuss, but the presence of their friends negated that for now. If their discussion devolved into another yelling match, he certainly didn’t want to do it in front of them. In fact, he didn’t want to face it at all tonight. He was exhausted and felt slightly sick. He wished the others weren’t here right now, because all he wanted to do was hide himself in his room. Edd still harbored feelings of guilt, anger, and fear, but he decided to let Kevin take care of him tonight. 

Kevin stood and helped him stand, then kissed him on the forehead. Edd managed to give him a wan little smile before he headed upstairs.

* * *

Usually when the group of friends got together to enjoy pizza it was a lively and fun time, full of inside jokes, teasing, and laughter. There was a little of it – they all chose not to discuss what had happened at school – but the gathering was rather subdued. Though Edd still wished his friends were not here, he appreciated that everyone stayed to keep him company and show him their support, as well as their efforts to cheer him up.

Kevin also appreciated them. He knew they were there mostly for Edd’s sake, but he was also going through his own crisis. In spite of his relief that he didn’t have to hide anything anymore, he was still worried about how Edd reacted and about what would happen at school. He didn’t know what to expect the next day.

After dinner, Nazz got everyone to help clean up before shooing them out of the house, and before they knew it, he and Edd were alone. It was just past seven, so Kevin knew they had a lot of time to talk and he hoped they could settle all of this tonight. He didn’t want there to be any more misunderstandings. 

“Go sit down, sweetheart,” he said. “I can finish cleaning up in here.”

“I should help you, Kevin,” Edd protested. 

“Nope, I’ve got it. I’ll make sure it passes your inspection.”

Edd smiled, a small, tight one, and drifted into the living room. Their friends had cleaned up, but Kevin knew he’d have to clean it to Edd’s standards. He soon had everything in order, washed his hands, and dried them on a towel, which he hung neatly on one of the drawer pulls. He turned out the light, leaving the one over the sink on – Edd liked to have a light on in all the rooms at night – then went to join his boyfriend.

Edd waited quietly on the couch, his head tilted down as he stared at the hands clasped tightly in his lap. His body was tense as if prepared for another fight. Kevin hoped not. He wanted to talk this out, not fight about it.

He settled on the couch next to Edd, but didn’t say anything. They sat there, neither one speaking, for a good few minutes. Kevin wasn’t sure what to say, or how to say it. He figured it would come to him, so he opened his mouth. “Dee…” he began.

He didn’t get much past that. Edd suddenly swung himself onto Kevin’s lap facing him as he straddled his thighs. Edd’s hands came up to grip the sides of Kevin’s head to hold it still as he mushed his lips against Kevin’s mouth. Kevin was startled and reflexively dropped his mouth open, only to have Edd thrust his tongue in. 

Edd rarely was this aggressive. He was passionate enough, more than anyone would probably guess from the shy boy. Kevin had always been satisfied with his lover and had no complaints. Edd was always willing to try new positions and always responded to all of Kevin’s touches in a fierce way. But it was rare for him to initiate things in such a way. Even at his most wild, Edd had never been like this. His grip on Kevin’s head actually hurt as Edd kissed him with a hunger that Kevin hadn’t experienced yet. Edd was rutting against him too, making grunting noises in full abandon, as he sloppily kissed Kevin with too much tongue, too many clicks of teeth against teeth, too much biting of lips.

“Dee!” Kevin gasped finally recovering his senses enough to push Edd back a little. Edd whined, fighting against Kevin and trying to kiss on him again. It was the opposite of earlier when Edd was fighting hard to get away from him. “Dee!”

“Kevin…” Edd breathed in a way that shot straight to Kevin’s groin, which betrayed Kevin by getting excited. 

“Dee,” he said, trying to keep his voice steady as he pressed gently against Edd to hold him back. “We really need to talk…”

“I do not want to talk, Kevin. I want you. I want to make love to you. I need you so badly now.”

Fuck, the way Edd whined all that, practically begging Kevin, made him harder. 

“Please, Kevin. Please take me upstairs.”

“Dee…”

“Kevin, please!”

Kevin realized Edd wouldn’t be distracted from this. Something was driving this need in his boyfriend, and, if he had to be honest with himself, seeing Edd like this was an amazing turn on. “Okay. Okay. We’ll go upstairs.”

“Hurry, Kevin. I need you so much.”

Kevin stood, nearly falling over as Edd clung to him – arms wrapped tightly around his neck and legs lifting to cling around his hips. It wasn’t the first time Kevin had carried Edd upstairs like this, but at those times Edd wasn’t pressing so eagerly against him, wasn’t begging so greedily in his ear, wasn’t licking at his neck between demands. 

Kevin could never remember much of the next couple hours. Edd was not himself. He was wild and unhinged as he’d never been before. Edd let himself loose in a way that left Kevin in a daze. ‘Power bottom’ was the term floating through Kevin’s sex-hazed mind. Edd left Kevin exhausted and brought him to three orgasms when Kevin didn’t think that was even possible. Edd just kept driving him forward over and over, his bed becoming a tangled mess of sweat- and cum-soaked sheets. Cum from both of them, as Kevin did his best to satiate Edd as well. 

They collapsed, finally, Kevin buried deep inside Edd and lying on top of his boyfriend. Edd was face down gasping for breath and Kevin could hardly move, though he knew he shouldn’t put his whole weight on the smaller boy. Kevin gulped in deep breaths, dragging his arms up enough to rest some of his weight on his elbows. He was sore all over, including his dick, which felt raw in spite of the lube he had used. He lifted his head and ghosted kisses over Edd’s shoulders, the salty taste of his sweat coating his lips.

“You okay, sweetheart?” he asked, his voice rough from all the moaning and cries ripped from him. 

“Yes, Kevin,” Edd whispered. 

Kevin pulled out, getting a little whine from Edd. “Are you sure? We did it yesterday, too, and you took me twice tonight. You have to be sore,” he said as he slid onto his side next to Edd. His hand stroked gently down Edd’s back.

“I am sore,” Edd admitted. “But all right. I wanted this.” Edd kept his face turned away.

“Dee…” Kevin began, but Edd shuffled away from him in order to turn to his side and sit up.

“I think I shall go take a shower,” he said, bending down to retrieve his boxers. 

Kevin blinked a few times as Edd stood and went over to his dresser. He watched as Edd picked out fresh underwear and a t-shirt. He felt abandoned and tossed aside, even though they had just had mind-blowing sex. “Want me to join you?” Kevin asked blankly. They usually showered together after.

“No, Kevin,” Edd answered, not looking at him. “I shall be quick, I promise.” Without another word, Edd exited his room. 

Kevin stared at the open doorway for a few moments, until he heard the bathroom door shut and the water turn on. Then he rolled onto his back, wincing at the sting of scratches Edd left there. What had just happened? This wasn’t even makeup sex as he might qualify it. They hadn’t exactly made up, though Edd had apologized. There was still too much they needed to talk about. Whatever they just experienced was savage, animalistic, and raw. It was pure need and drive, and not filled with their usual loving gestures.

Kevin liked to think they personified the concept of making love. Yes, there was the sexual drive there when they had sex, but both of them always brought a level of loving romance to their lovemaking, as well as fun and even humor. This evening had nothing of that. Edd wasn’t allowing it. When Kevin tried, Edd deflected and did something that was so out of character it left Kevin’s head in a fog. A sex-filled fog that he couldn’t fight his way out of.

He heard the water turn off, so he sat up in the bed, then slid off. If anything, he could strip the bed and remake it. He knew there was no way Edd would agree to sleep in the bed as it was. He pulled on his underwear and then, groaning from his complaining muscles, he pulled the sheets and quilt off the bed to carry them to the hamper Edd kept in his room. 

He went into the hallway to the linen closet to get fresh sheets, brought them into Edd’s room, and put them on the bed. Before he could make it himself, Edd returned, bringing in the warm scent of his spicy body wash, a scent that Kevin always associated with his boyfriend. 

“Thank you for taking off the sheets, Kevin.”

Kevin stared at Edd. His tone sounded so formal. You would never guess that half an hour ago, Edd was practically screaming from his second orgasm. “Um, I can make the bed, Dee,” he offered.

“You should get in the shower, Kevin,” Edd said as he picked up the pile of sheets and separated the fitted sheet from it. “I can make it.”

“Uh, sure,” Kevin said. “I’ll be right back.”

He showered as fast as he could because he wanted to get back to Edd quickly. Something was obviously wrong and Kevin didn’t want to sleep on it. Edd wouldn’t change his whole personality if there wasn’t a reason. Both of them always enjoyed their normal, soft lovemaking. Kevin had no idea where this Edd had come from.

He did feel better after the shower, which soothed cramped muscles and washed off the feeling of being dirty that had nothing to do with the sweat and cum dotted on his skin. Clean boxers and a t-shirt felt even better as he toweled off his hair and combed it quickly. Now was time for some answers.

Yet when he came into Edd’s room, the boy was already in bed, under the top sheet and on his side as he normally slept. Edd’s eyes were closed and he was breathing deeply, as if he were already asleep. Kevin paused next to the bed, staring down at Edd with a frown. They had been sleeping together long enough for Kevin to know the difference between Edd sleeping and Edd not sleeping. Edd apparently was going to extremes to avoid talking about this whole thing – with the extreme sex and now pretending – both things he had never done before. 

Kevin pretended, too. Pretended that he believed that Edd was asleep. It disappointed him, because Edd had agreed just that morning that Sylvie’s advice - never go to bed angry - was good advice. He bent down to place a kiss on Edd’s temple, which didn’t get a response, and climbed carefully over the boy in order to get behind him on the bed. He took a moment positioning himself in their normal spooning position, wrapping his arm around Edd’s waist and curling up against the warm boy.

He could tell even more once he had Edd in his arms that the boy was awake. Muscles were too tense, breathing was too controlled. Edd usually was compliant once asleep and Kevin could move him around easily, but now was not the case. He fitted his body around Edd in their usual way of sleeping and kissed the boy on his shoulder, tucking his face into Edd’s neck. Even though he knew Edd was pretending, he decided to play along.

“I know you’re asleep, Dee,” he said softly, “but I wish you were awake so I could tell you how brave I think you are and how much I love you. Happy five month anniversary,” he added, unable to keep the sadness out of his voice.

As Edd was facing away from him, Kevin couldn’t see the tears flowing silently from his lover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this wasn’t a huge fight...there’s more coming...


	8. You Have To Tell Kevin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next day at school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: There is homophobic language in this chapter, as well as some slight physical abuse. Very slight (thankfully). As much as I hate writing it, it is a horrible reality. The parts are short, because it was just so hard to write.

**You Have To Tell Kevin**

When Kevin’s phone alarm sounded in the morning, he woke up to an empty bed for the second day in a row and his heart sank. His muscles ached and the scratches on his back still stung. With a groan, he sat up and looked around the dimly lit room. Edd wasn’t there.

“Dee?” he called out, but didn’t expect an answer. Shit. He knew Edd wouldn’t have already left; it was too early for that.

Kevin dragged himself out of the bed and crossed to Edd’s dresser to retrieve fresh boxers from ‘his’ drawer. When he stepped out into the hallway, he caught a faint whiff of something and heard a slight thunk from the kitchen. Edd must be making breakfast.

He padded down to the bathroom and took a quick shower, brow furrowed the whole time. He was nervous about facing Edd, unsure how his mood would be. Usually they woke up together, basking in little kisses and caresses before starting the day. To wake up to a cold and empty bed did little to ease the tension across Kevin’s shoulders.

The sun was up enough to light the kitchen, though it felt cold in spite of the warmth from the stove. Edd was baking something, which was unusual. Generally, Edd only baked breakfast things on the weekend. During the week, he cooked quick things like eggs or waffles. Kevin guessed he’d been up for awhile already, if he had the time for that.

“Morning, Dee,” he said, his tone carefully neutral. Edd was at the stove, patiently turning over sausages in a pan. 

“Good morning, Kevin.” Edd’s tone was just as neutral, and he accepted the kiss on his cheek with no reaction. 

“What’s in the oven?”

“I made those little hash brown and egg things you like.”

“Thanks, sweetheart. Sounds good.” Edd didn’t respond. He simply poked at the sausage with the tongs he held. Kevin saw that the table was already set, so he asked, “Do you want OJ? Or…?”

“Orange juice is fine,” Edd said.

The timer went off and Edd stepped back to look into the oven, apparently satisfied that the hash brown cups were done. Within a few minutes, everything was on the table and the pair sat down to eat. Silence filled the room, broken by the scrape of silverware on plates. Kevin poked at his brain to think of something…anything…to say, but he came up with nothing, and it was uncomfortable. Usually silence with Edd was comforting – a knowledge that they didn’t need inane chatter to fill the empty spaces. Now there was tension Kevin couldn’t penetrate.

“Ride in with me?”

The sound of Kevin’s voice startled Edd, who dropped his fork onto his plate. “I beg your pardon?”

“Let me take you in to school,” Kevin said. “On the bike.”

Edd picked his fork back up, his eyes trained on his plate. “Do you think that prudent?”

Kevin poked at his hash browns with his fork, appetite gone now. “I don’t see why not. Everyone knows.”

Edd didn’t say anything for a long time. He instead kept his eyes down, rearranging the food with his fork. Kevin watched him with no expression, waiting patiently. It was something he’d dreamed of doing for a long time – riding to school with Edd, proud to have his boyfriend with him. Proud to show off his relationship. He knew Edd was having a crisis over outing himself, and his heart ached over what Edd had told him the previous afternoon, but part of Kevin was so happy it had finally happened.

“Yes, everyone knows.” Edd’s voice was loud in the silent kitchen. 

* * *

Edd was used to the bike now, so he didn’t need to clutch Kevin’s body so hard. Today he did. He hid his face between Kevin’s shoulder blades as Kevin waited to turn out of their cul-de-sac. He felt Kevin’s palm press the back of his hand briefly and he struggled not to cry. 

The hand lifted and the bike moved forward, turning into a break in morning traffic. It felt strange to be on the bike this early in the morning on roads jammed with cars carrying their passengers to school or work. Not that Edd saw any of this, with his face hidden in Kevin’s back as he tried to calm his racing heart. 

He should have told Kevin he didn’t feel well. He should have stayed in bed with the covers drawn over his head – forget about the world for awhile and never return to school. He couldn’t do that, of course, though he surmised that with his grades he didn’t need to finish out the year. The wild thoughts that ran through his head as he lay sleepless in Kevin’s embrace all night suggested multiple solutions to the problem of returning to school and facing his peers. 

Near the end of the long night, however, he’d come to a sort of epiphany. He realized he didn’t really care what anyone in the school thought. It was, in a large sense, a relief to be out. The burden of hiding their relationship was gone and he finally felt free. While he did have a slight worry about repercussions, he didn’t actually dread going to school. So what if he was called names? So what if he was picked on? If that would even happen. He’d have to endure it just over a month and then they would be off to college. 

As long as Kevin didn’t suffer, Edd knew nothing at school would break him. 

That’s if Kevin didn’t suffer. 

_“…how brave I think you are…”_

Kevin’s words the night before echoed through his head, making it throb in a minor tension headache. Brave? He cringed inside that Kevin thought that. He didn’t think he was brave. He came out because he was scared, not because he was brave. He wanted to argue the point with Kevin, but he was pretending to sleep to avoid talking in the first place. 

His cheeks burned with shame at his behavior. He knew he and Kevin should have talked after everyone left. Edd was just emotionally and physically exhausted. Well, perhaps not physically, he thought, his cheeks burning brighter. Was he that emotionally stunted that he couldn’t talk about his feelings with the one person he trusted most in the world? Go to the lengths he did in bed to avoid it? He never thought he was – he always thought of himself as an open person. And while he never exactly explained to Kevin everything about why he wanted to avoid coming out, he didn’t think he wouldn’t be able to talk to Kevin about it when the time came. 

No, instead he distracted Kevin with extreme behavior in bed. Edd knew that even though Kevin went along with it, there was a disconnect. A disconnect that took Edd out of his body in a way. They had sex. Intercourse twice. But Edd wouldn’t classify it as making love, and he never again wanted Kevin in that way. Never wanted to see the look of confusion and disappointment behind the lust in his lover’s eyes. 

Edd was almost eighteen years old. Almost a legal adult, but his behavior the night before was childish. Avoidance by extremes. He had always considered himself, even as a child, as a calm and rational being. 

Nothing of that was there the night before. 

He felt so ashamed and guilty. Not over coming out, but at how he treated Kevin. The coming out he could deal with, but the knowledge that he had hurt the love of his life broke his heart. He had no idea what to say, which was another reason for his avoidance the previous evening. ‘Sorry’ didn’t seem enough. He’d accused his beautiful Kevin of outing them. He’d expected Kevin to live a lie for him. And through it all, Kevin stayed his patient and loving self. 

He kept wishing he hadn’t acted so precipitously the day before. He should have kept his mouth shut and trusted Kevin. Kevin, who’d never given him a reason not to be trusted. The guilt Edd felt overwhelmed him. 

It was that guilt, more than anything, that tied his tongue this morning. He had slipped out of Kevin’s arms early, quietly left the room, and took his shower. After he had dressed in the dim light of the nightlight in his room, he went to the bed and knelt down beside it, resting his hands on the edge of the mattress. Kevin slept with a furrowed brow, worry evident even while he slept. Edd watched him breathing for nearly ten minutes, unable to look away, until he reached a hand to lightly trace over Kevin’s freckled cheek, which twitched slightly at his touch. “I love you and I am so sorry…” 

He had no idea what to say to Kevin or what to do to fix their current conflict. Edd had reacted too harshly and regretted it. His usual level-headedness disappeared, replaced by a scared and irrational brain. If he had just trusted Kevin in that moment. He should have realized that Kevin wasn’t backing down and wasn’t going to say his name. If he had, they wouldn’t be in this situation - with too many things left unsaid and Edd facing a day where he didn’t know what would happen. For someone who meticulously planned his day and thrived off routine, the unknown frightened him.

Edd didn’t honestly think there would be too much backlash at school. It wasn’t as if he and Kevin were the only openly gay students. But now, at the end of the school year, it just was one more thing Edd didn’t want to deal with. They had exams soon, and Edd had his valedictorian speech to worry about, while Kevin had baseball.

The school wasn’t far from their neighborhood. Even in morning traffic, it took less than ten minutes to get there. Peeking to the side, Edd saw the old Victorian home that he’d always admired, which he knew was a block from the school. Two sophomore girls had paused in front of it to look at the riot of color from the rosebushes, but turned at the sound of Kevin’s motorcycle. Edd straightened, turning his head to look at them as they stared while the pair drove past. He supposed he should get used to the stares today. 

Kevin slowed to turn into the long and curvy driveway that led past the baseball fields to the back of the school and Edd stayed upright, not hiding anymore. He wouldn’t give his peers the satisfaction of thinking he was ashamed when he wasn’t. If they stared, they stared. There wasn’t anything he could do about it. 

He loosened the death grip on Kevin, though still clutched at Kevin’s sides to remain balanced. Kevin drove slowly, as the congestion of student cars converged to look for spots in the small parking lot. The motorcycle spots were near the door, so Kevin navigated through the cars and clumps of students with ease. Edd wasn’t sure what expression to glue to his face – everyone turned to stare as they went by. A few waved and he could see Kevin bob his head in acknowledgment. He spotted Nazz’s SUV already parked and wished he caught a ride with her. 

Kevin parked in one of the two spots near the door and cut the engine. Edd looked at the door for a moment, remembering the numbness he felt when he stepped out of those same doors the day before. He scooted back and slipped off the bike, which wasn’t normal. Usually Edd would let Kevin dismount, then swing his leg over and wait for Kevin to lift him off. It was a simple, silly thing, but they both loved it. Edd loved the feel of Kevin’s hands firmly on his waist, his own hands resting on Kevin’s flexing biceps, giving each other a sweet smile as Kevin manhandled him off the bike and to his feet – it was something special for them. 

Not today. He couldn’t bring himself to do that in front of their peers. Not now. Not yet. Kevin took off his helmet and hung it on one of the handlebars and Edd shoved his helmet into Kevin’s hands. He cringed inwardly at the slightly hurt look Kevin gave him. 

“You okay, Dee?” 

Edd couldn’t take those eyes. He looked aside at the front wheel of the bike. “Oh, yes, Kevin. I am quite well.” 

“You sure?” 

“Yes, Kevin.” 

Kevin dismounted, hung up Edd’s helmet on the other handlebar, then retrieved their bags from the storage compartment. Edd looped the strap of his messenger bag over his head and positioned the bag in front of him, acutely aware of both Kevin’s intense stare as well as the stares and whispers of the kids passing them by. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he seemed to see Kevin’s hand lift toward him and Edd’s heart clenched. He didn’t think he could bring himself to hold Kevin’s hand. Not yet. This was too new. He was still confused and anxious. The stares were bad enough, but how worse would they be if he and Kevin held hands? 

Instead, he clutched his messenger bag strap tightly, hoping Kevin got the hint. He must have, because his boyfriends hand fell back to his side. “Come on,” he said, his tone subdued enough to make Edd wince. 

They walked into the school side by side. “You’d think we were on display,” Kevin commented as he held open the door for Edd. He made a faint sound of agreement as he slipped past, but didn’t say anything himself. A brief glance at Kevin’s face sunk his heart. He could tell Kevin was worried, but trying to hide it. Five months with each other was long enough for Edd to learn his lover’s expressions. Again, Edd felt a stab of guilt for putting that worry in Kevin’s mind. 

However, there wasn’t much time to dwell on it. Their lockers weren’t near each other – Kevin's was on the second floor – so they parted after they walked into the school. It was with some amount of relief when Edd walked away after wishing Kevin a stuttered good day.

Edd held his head high, but kept his focus ahead of him as he walked down the hall. He felt self-conscious and hated that everyone stared at him, especially since he was used to being a sort of non-entity. Edd usually moved through his day with hardly anyone noticing him, which he was quite fine with. He knew now that it wouldn’t be the case for the rest of the school year. Not only was he labelled as ‘gay’, which would have garnered him some amount of attention, he knew the main reason was that he was dating the most sought after guy in the school. Someone no one would ever guess was gay too.

Edd reached his locker and walked to his homeroom which was also his first class, AP History, with no incident and breathed a sigh of relief as he settled into his desk in the front row. He pulled his iPad out of his bag, set it up in front of him, and then reached for his textbook. Other kids filtered into the room, finding their seats, loudly greeting their friends, and settling in with the usual noise and chaos before the start of the day. Edd kept his eyes on the screen in front of him. He called up the document he used for notes and started typing the day’s date.

 _“_ _Fag!_ _”_

The loudly whispered hiss felt like a brick smacked against the side of his head. His fingers paused in his typing and he swallowed, the feeling of his heart stopping a dull ache in his chest. Against his will, he felt his cheeks flush and his heart start beating again, but rapidly now. Thankfully, before anything else could be said, the bell rang and in a moment the morning announcements began.

Edd lifted his eyes to Mr. Knight, who grumbled as he always did during the announcements, and never once looked away. He ignored the few snickers he heard when his teacher called his name during roll call and responded, “Present”. He didn’t hear anything else in the class, just Mr. Knight droning on about the assassination of Franz Ferdinand. Edd diligently took notes, drawing comfort from the monotonous routine he could concentrate on instead of what any of his classmates might be thinking of him.

Edd rushed out of class immediately after the bell rang. He usually walked with Eddy to his second period class – their rooms were next to each other – but he didn’t wait for his friend this time. He just wanted to get through the halls and into his classroom. Edd still walked with his head held high, but he did resort to the comfort of pulling his hat lower on his head.

Other students jostled him a little, but this was normal in the crowded halls of the school. However, someone slammed into his shoulder - someone who laughed and sneered, “Watch out queer”. It happened so quickly that he didn’t see who did it. He had stumbled to the side and by the time he caught his balance and looked around, he couldn’t tell who it was. The hit against him was painful and he rubbed his shoulder as he continued in the direction of class.

Second period was all right. Nothing happened and no one said anything to him. He did hear whispers and laughs occasionally during the class and his lab partner, a friendly enough guy, didn’t speak to him once in spite of them working on a project together. His partner, Allen, in fact flinched a little when Edd went to hand him one of the test tubes they were working with.

Edd heard a few things thrown at him as he walked to third period, the typical derogatory terms he expected. He’d been called names all his life, so it wasn’t so much the actual words that hurt him, it was the nasty tone in which they were said. He started feeling sick and turned into the bathroom, knowing he’d be late for English, but for once in his life, he didn’t care. 

He didn’t have to use the facilities, but he sat on one of the toilets with the stall door closed for a few minutes. Edd’s agitation even superseded his obsessiveness about hygiene. He bent over, his elbows on his knees and his face buried in his hands. How was he going to go to the cafeteria at lunch and sit with everyone? He was positive some of the name-calling was from Kevin’s teammates. Teammates that sometimes sat at their table.

Edd ended up staying there the whole period. The thought of walking into his class late made him cringe. Why draw more attention to himself? He looked at his phone and saw that the bell would ring soon, signaling the end of third period. He knew he couldn’t skip two classes, so he got up, hooked his messenger bag over his shoulder and stepped out of the stall. The mirror reflected how miserable he felt and he tried to put on a smile, thinking that if Kevin saw him right now, it would make him worry. Edd did not want Kevin to know anything that happened today.

He was drying his hands, still gazing at himself in the mirror, when he heard the door open. Without looking, he put his head down and threw out the paper towel as he turned to leave. Instead, he felt himself slammed back against the sinks and he looked up with frightened eyes to see Jason.

“Excuse me,” Edd gasped, wincing inside for pardoning himself when he hadn’t done anything. Jason just glared at him and Edd brought his hands up against his own chest defensively, though he knew there was nothing he could do to prevent Jason from doing something to him.

“Listen here you fucking little faggot,” Jason growled at Edd, “Stay the fuck away from Kevin, got it?”

“What?”

“Stay away. It’s a simple enough sentence for a big brain like you to understand,” Jason sneered, poking his finger forcefully into Edd’s head. “God, you disgust me. I won’t have you turn my captain into a queer like you, so stay the fuck away from him. We can’t have a fairy leading our team. If you don’t leave him alone, I’ll beat the shit out of you!”

With that, Jason turned and stormed out of the bathroom, leaving Edd panting as his adrenaline reached its’ peak. Shaking, he turned and looked at himself, grateful that Jason hadn’t hit him. He looked as shaken as he felt and took a few deep breaths before heading out of the bathroom and to his next class, determined in his mind that while he in no way would give up Kevin, he wasn’t going to go to lunch and cause a scene.

* * *

Kevin sat in his normal seat at their cafeteria table next to Ed, his leg bouncing nervously as he watched the open double doors. Jake sat in Edd’s usual seat and Kevin just hoped Edd wouldn’t be upset that he wanted Edd to sit next to him. 

“Do you want me to go back to my seat?” Jake asked.

”No. He’ll probably be pissed at me, but I want this.”

Jake held up his hands, laughing. “It’s your funeral.”

Kevin flipped his friend off, his gaze glued to the doors. He perked up as Nazz and Eddy walked through, but Edd wasn’t with them. That was odd. He glanced at the time on his phone. Edd should be here by now. He frowned, watching his two friends approach.

”Have you seen Dee?” he asked before Nazz or Eddy could say hello.

The pair looked at each other. “No...” Eddy drawled out, then turned to scowl at Kevin. “He’s not here yet?”

Kevin rolled his eyes at the question. “Obviously. I haven’t seen him since we got here this morning.”

“Did he text you or anything?”

Kevin shook his head. “No, he hasn’t today.”

“Me either,” Eddy grunted, looking over at Ed, who shook his head. “This isn’t like Double D…”

“I should probably go look for him,” Kevin said, his tone worried.

Eddy looked at Nazz, then back at Kevin. “Try the library. Way in the back where those study carrels are.”

* * *

Kevin found Edd hidden back in the library in one of the private study desks that had walls on the desktop in order to afford the user privacy. Edd hunched over his open history book, his iPad sat off to the side.

“Hey, Dee,” Kevin said softly, not wanting to startle his boyfriend.

Edd glanced up towards him, though he didn’t meet his eyes, and smiled in a vague way. “Kevin…”

Kevin frowned. “What’s the matter?” he asked. “You didn’t show up to lunch. You’re not answering my texts.”

“Oh, I am truly sorry. I hope I did not make you worry. I just wanted to get some studying done for History. I am concerned about the exam and needed to go over the lecture we had today.”

Kevin knew he wasn’t telling the whole truth. Edd loved his history class, and never worried about it. “Are you sure? It's not like you to not text me.”

“I am sure. It is just the stress of exams coming up,” Edd assured him, looking back down at his book. 

Kevin nodded slowly. “Anything happen today? You okay?”

“I said I was,” a little hardness came into Edd’s tone. “Nothing happened.”

“Okay, Dee. Just next time you do this, text me or let me know, okay? I was worried. Especially after yesterday. I thought something had happened to you.”

Edd kept his eyes on the desktop and he made a sound that could have been a laugh, but Kevin heard no humor in it. “I am sorry, Kevin. It shall not happen again. I promise.”

Kevin stood there, feeling awkward. Edd was usually more affectionate and willing to look him in the eye. He put his hand on Edd’s shoulder and while Edd didn’t flinch, he felt Edd tense up a bit as if he were holding himself back from flinching. “You sure you don’t wanna come up for lunch?”

“No, thank you. I am not hungry.”

He squeezed Edd’s shoulder, wondering why Edd pressed his lips together and closed his eyes. Was he so scared still? He looked in pain. “Okay, I guess I’ll leave you alone then. See you after practice?”

Edd’s expression cleared when Kevin pulled his hand away and it pinched at Kevin’s heart. “Yes, Kevin.”

Edd was never this cold to him. “All right. Love you.”

It took a moment before Edd responded with his own “I love you” and Kevin walked away feeling like he did something wrong.

* * *

At the end of the day, Edd found Eddy and Nazz waiting at his locker, which surprised him. Thankfully, his last two classes went without incident and no one had bothered him in the hallway. He supposed maybe the other kids had gotten it out of their system and were bored of it already. Edd still had Jason’s threat running through his head, though. Names were one thing, threats were another. The threat wasn’t going to work; he and Kevin weren’t going to break up. Especially so close to the end of high school. Edd just didn’t want Jason to carry through with it, or to decide to take it out on Kevin.

“You need a ride home, Double D?” Eddy asked. “I know you rode in with Kev this morning.”

“I planned to walk, Eddy.”

“I don’t have cheerleader practice today,” Nazz said brightly, though the look she gave him was stern. “Ride home with us.”

Edd knew it was useless to argue with Nazz, especially when paired with Eddy. He sighed, opening his locker. “Let me grab my books.”

Nazz and Eddy looked at each other. Edd was normally happy, but the boy looked downcast and subdued. Once Edd was set, he closed his locker and followed Eddy and Nazz out to the parking lot and to Nazz’s SUV, where he climbed into the back. Nazz waited to start the car, mentioning that they were waiting for Ed, who stayed after class to discuss something with one of his teachers.

“So, what happened today, Sockhead?” Eddy asked, peering at Edd between the two front seats.

“Happened, Eddy?” Edd asked, looking away from his friend out the window. “Nothing happened. It was a typical and normal day.”

“And, typically and normally, you’re a terrible liar. Tell me what happened,” Eddy demanded, ignoring Nazz’s faint protest to be gentle.

Edd bit his lip and closed his eyes, but didn’t answer.

“Did anyone pick on you today, Edd?” Nazz asked.

After a few moments, Edd just nodded.

“Who was it?” Eddy growled. 

“I do not know, Eddy. I never saw who said anything. It was in the halls between classes. Someone in my History class called me something derogatory.”

Eddy looked ready to murder, so Nazz asked Edd, “Anything else?”

“I was pushed around a little in the hall. Someone, I think it was a teammate of Kevin’s, knocked into me. I think my shoulder is bruised. It still hurts.”

“Is that why you didn’t go to lunch today?”

Edd nodded, looking down at his hands. His eyes filled with tears for the first time today. He had remained strong – as strong as he could because he wasn’t going to give anyone there the satisfaction of thinking they had hurt him. “I was not sure if he would be at our table, so I did not want to make it awkward for Kevin.” He sighed, looking up at Eddy finally and brushing his hand under his own eyes. “Jason threatened me, too,” he added, telling the pair what had happened in the bathroom in a low tone.

“Are you fucking kidding me? I’m gonna beat the shit out of him! That fucking asshole!” Eddy shouted.

“Language, Eddy!” Edd said.

“This is not the time to worry about my language, Edd!” Eddy said. “Who the fuck does that asshole think he is?”

“Kevin’s teammate, Eddy. You cannot do anything to him. I do not want Kevin to find out about this!”

“What?” Eddy said, his mouth dropping open.

“No, Eddy,” Edd said in a firm voice. “I can handle this. I have been through this before. Kevin never has. He has enough to deal with without having to worry about me.”

“Edd, it doesn’t work that way. You’re together, aren’t you? Part of being in a relationship is being there for each other. You have to tell Kevin,” Nazz said.

“No!” Edd cried, wiping at his eyes again. “Kevin does not know what this is like, and he deserves to never know! He has to concentrate on his baseball games, and I do not want him to get into a fight with his teammates! Kevin has to think about his scholarship!”

Nazz and Eddy looked at each other. “Edd,” Eddy tried to say in a reasonable voice, “you have to tell Kevin. He can put a stop to his teammates. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“No, Eddy! Just, no!”

They stopped talking as Nazz signaled them that Ed was approaching. It was a silent agreement not to let Ed know, because they didn’t want to upset him. Edd quickly wiped at his eyes with his sleeve and tried to calm himself down as his friend got into the car next to him.

* * *

Kevin received a text from Edd saying that he had accepted a ride home from Nazz and Eddy, so Kevin need not worry about him. Kevin didn’t. He was a little apprehensive about going to practice, though no one said anything to him during school. A few odd looks here and there, but that was pretty much it. He was happy that the school seemed to accept his relationship with Edd, but when he entered the locker room to get dressed in his practice uniform, he wasn’t surprised that some of his teammates didn’t meet his eye. He breathed a sigh of relief and moved to his usual locker to get dressed. 

Practice went well, making him feel positive about his teams’ chances during the playoffs. The whole team played well together and his teammates worked hard during the practice. There were a few questionable names they called him, but that was a normal thing between them. No one called him anything they hadn't called him before he came out. He didn't exactly like it, but he didn't take it seriously. The one person he expected shit from - Jason - ignored him completely. 

The showers, normally ringing with laughter and insults, were quiet. Kevin didn’t think too much of it. He guessed that maybe they felt uncomfortable knowing he liked guys. He wanted to tell them they in no way compared to his beautiful Edd, but he kept his mouth shut. He dressed and grabbed his backpack out of his locker, digging out his phone to find a text from Nazz asking him to stop at her house after practice.

Kevin waved to those teammates left in the locker room, absently said goodbye, and left. When Kevin got to his bike, he lifted Edd’s helmet off the handle and held it in his hands for a moment, looking at it fondly . He remembered searching for this perfect helmet for Edd and the look on his face when Kevin gave it to him for their first ride.

He tucked the helmet safely in the side pannier, mounted the bike, and put on his own helmet. Before he could start the bike, he noticed Jake heading towards him, freshly dressed after his own shower, but a serious expression on his usually cheerful face. 

“What’s up, Jake?”

Jake took a deep breath. “I’ve heard some things. No one’s going to say anything directly to your face, but I’ve overheard. I mean, most of the guys are cool with it, but some aren’t. I just don’t want you or Edd getting hurt.”

Kevin thought that over, a frown furrowing his brow. Edd might get hurt? He admitted to himself that the thought had crossed his mind. That couldn’t happen; Kevin would kill anyone who would hurt him. Didn’t they know that? Wasn’t it implied? “Thanks for letting me know,” he said to Jake. “I kinda figured some people would talk.”

“Yeah,” Jake said. “Just wanted to let you know.”

“Have Ben or Joel said anything?”

Jake shook his head and Kevin sighed. He’d left the cafeteria to look for Edd before his two friends joined the table. _If_ they were going to join the table. Kevin worked strictly with Jake at practice today, so he didn’t have a chance to talk to either of them. He knew he had Jake’s support, but he hoped he wouldn’t lose Joel or Ben as friends. Out of everyone on the team, Kevin was closest to those three.

“I’m sure they’ll come around. Neither of them are dicks,” then smiled ruefully as Kevin looked at him. “Well, Joel can be, but not about stuff like this. I’ve never heard them say anything like that.”

Kevin chuckled slightly, shifting his hands on the handlebars. “True.”

“Jason was the fucker I heard saying something in the locker room after you left. I told him to go fuck himself. Hopefully, he won’t do anything.”

“He’s too chicken shit to do anything,” Kevin said with a grunt. “He knows he has no chance against me.”

“No doubt. Not with these guns backing you up,” Jake said, flexing in a comic way that made Kevin laugh. 

“Thanks,” Kevin said. It made him feel good to know Jake had his back. The Eds, too, now that he thought of it. He certainly would hate to take Ed head on. The boy wasn’t top in wrestling for nothing.

“My pleasure, buddy. See you tomorrow!” Jake made finger guns at him, then turned to head to his jeep. Kevin started up his bike, backed it out, and headed toward the cul-de-sac, thinking about what Jake had said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can yell at me on social media...
> 
> devoosha @ the twitter  
> devooshawrites @ the tumblr


	9. Don't Lie to Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fighting again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kevin finds out about Edd's day and confronts him about it.

**Don't Lie to Me**

Nazz opened the door in response to Kevin’s knock. She greeted him and led him into the kitchen where Eddy was already seated at the table. Eddy’s expression was serious, as was Nazz’s, and Kevin felt a little uneasy. “What’s up guys?”

“Please sit down, Kev,” Nazz said in answer. The table had four chairs, one on each side. He sat across from Eddy and Nazz took the seat between them. Once he had settled, she said, “We need to talk about Edd.”

Kevin’s senses heightened and a cold sensation settled on him, especially after his conversation with Jake. “What about Edd? What’s wrong?”

Nazz looked at Eddy and sighed. “Edd didn’t have a good day at school.”

“He said he was fine at lunch,” Kevin said.

“You found him?” Eddy asked.

“Yeah, right where you said. I asked if anything had happened and he said no.”

Nazz reached over and put her hands on top of Kevin’s left hand, which was lying on the table. “He didn’t quite tell you the truth, Kevin.”

The way both of them were acting gave Kevin a sick feeling. “Is he okay? Where is he? Did anyone hurt him?”

She didn’t answer him right away, but she finally nodded. “Look, Kevin, Edd didn’t want us to tell you what happened today. He doesn’t want you to know at all, but Eddy and I both thought it best you know.”

“Nazz, you’re scaring me. What happened?” Kevin demanded.

“Edd was called some names today,” she began.

“But your teammates took it up a notch,” Eddy interrupted.

Kevin turned his eyes on Eddy. The other teen looked completely pissed off. Kevin knew Eddy had a short fuse when it came to anyone picking on Edd and it made Kevin’s panic rise.

“What did they do?”

“Edd thinks one of them ran into him in the hall. Did that fucking run-into-someone-with-the-shoulder thing. Edd’s bruised and it still hurts,” Eddy answered.

Kevin fumed, but before he could say anything, Nazz added, “Edd was threatened as well.”

“Threatened?” Kevin asked, his mouth going dry.

“Jason sort of attacked him in the bathroom. Edd was so upset with being shouldered in the hallway he skipped third period,” Nazz explained. Kevin knew if Edd was upset enough to skip class it had really affected him. “He shoved Edd up against the sinks and told him to stay away from you and that he didn’t want Edd turning his captain gay. He used worse language than I am and said horrible things to Edd, including telling Edd he would physically harm him if he didn’t stay away from you.”

Kevin stood up, boiling with anger. He paced back and forth next to the table. “I’m going to fucking kill him!”

“That won’t help Edd, Kevin,” Nazz told him.

“No, but I’ll feel better. Where does that fucking shit get off threatening my boyfriend?” Kevin was furious. He didn’t think he’d ever been this angry before. The thought of someone threatening his sweet, loving, passive Edd sent him into a white-hot rage.

Nazz stood up and put her arm on Kevin’s to stop his pacing. His face was flushed and his eyes were flashing fire. “Kevin, I know how you feel, but calm down.”

“Calm down? Are you kidding? I can’t fucking calm down! I won’t until I punch that shit in his nasty mouth!”

“I’ll hold him down for you, Kevin,” Eddy offered.

“Don’t you start,” Nazz snapped, frowning at Eddy. “None of that will help Edd. He’s so upset, Kevin,” she said, looking at Kevin with sympathy. “But he won’t let you know, because he’s more worried about you.”

“What do you mean?”

It was Eddy who answered. “Kev, Edd’s been through this before. It’s not the first time he’s been called shitty names. Fuck, some of that came from you. Edd’s not usually affected by name-calling. He usually shrugs it off and it never changes his positive outlook. He’s even been pushed around a little, but never anything serious. I think he was thrown by the threats, especially them coming from a teammate of yours.”

“Edd knows I can’t stand Jason.”

“He’s still your teammate.”

Kevin stared at Eddy, unsure of what to say, but Eddy continued, “Edd cares about you, man. Not just loves you, but cares about you. He doesn’t want you to go through the same things he has, so he’s got it in his head to take it all and hope it doesn’t fall on you. He doesn’t want you to worry about him. He has some stupid idea about distracting you from exams and your championship games.”

Kevin dropped back into his chair, feeling his anger drain, or at least withdraw into another place inside him. “That little dweeb,” he muttered. “How can he think that?”

“You’re more important to Edd than Edd himself is, Kevin,” Nazz replied. “Of course he would try to protect you.” His heart clenched as Nazz unknowingly echoed Edd’s words from the afternoon before. “He knows how important your games are to you. How important doing well in baseball helps you with your scholarship, so he probably doesn’t want to say anything because he thinks it would affect that.”

Kevin propped his elbows on the table and put his face in his upraised hands. “I can’t believe this. No one said anything to me today. A little teasing at practice, but that was it.”

Eddy scoffed. “No one is going to say anything to you Kev. You’re the top dog at the school.”

“Eddy’s right, Kev,” Nazz added. “You can protect yourself, and those cowards know it. Edd can’t and they know that, too.”

She again unknowingly echoed someone, Jake this time. “Well they should have thought it through,” Kevin growled. “Hurting Edd hurts me, and I’ll be damned if they think they can push him around. I’ll take care of it tomorrow. If any of those shits don’t like it, they’re off the team.”

“You need to take care of Edd now, though, Kev. Tell him you know and try to comfort him. And I don’t care if you tell him we told you. I don’t care how mad he gets at me or if he doesn’t speak to me again. He needs you.”

* * *

He went straight to Edd’s after leaving Nazz’s and let himself in. Edd called a subdued greeting to him as Kevin took off his shoes and left them neatly at the door.

Edd was in the kitchen, sitting at the table, iPad in front of him with its keyboard. Kevin knew he was probably editing his speech again. Edd had been a bundle of nerves since he found out he was Valedictorian and would be giving a speech at graduation. The speech, finished two weeks ago, had been redone three times already.

Edd glanced up when Kevin entered. He gave Kevin a smile he knew was false. Edd’s eyes always shone when he was genuinely happy to see Kevin. Kevin didn’t return it, and tried to smother his own anger. He knew he shouldn’t focus his anger on Edd, but he needed to make it clear to Edd that hiding what happened wasn’t being honest with him. He didn’t want to fight – Edd was the one victimized today - but he felt one brewing in the tension in the room. 

Kevin didn’t even say hello. Instead, he said in a voice he tried very hard to keep neutral, “Tell me what happened today.”

Edd seemed taken aback and his mouth dropped open slightly. His silence was a telltale sign he was trying to think of what to say. “Nothing happened, Kevin,” he said, looking back at his screen. “It was an uneventful day.”

“Don’t lie to me, Edd.”

Edd didn’t respond. His fingers rested on the keyboard, but his eyes had closed.

“Nazz and Eddy told me everything,” Kevin said.

Edd frowned and opened his eyes, but still didn’t look at Kevin, who stood next to the table opposite him. Edd’s eyes focused on his screen. Anger flashed in his eyes then and he stood up, pushing the chair back. “They were not supposed to say anything!” he finally cried. “Oh, I could kill Eddy!”

“Don’t be mad at them, Edd. They’re worried about you.”

“I told them not to be. I am fine!”

“Being threatened is not fine, Edd. Being called names is not fine.”

“They are simply names, Kevin. They cannot hurt me!”

“But being attacked can!”

Edd turned from him, hugging himself. 

“Edd, why didn’t you tell me?” Kevin asked and Edd winced at the hurt in his voice.

“I did not want to worry you. You have too many things to worry about right now,” Edd responded in a small voice.

“What are you talking about?”

“Your exams, Kevin, and your playoffs. I did not want to distract you from them.”

“Edd, that is the stupidest thing I think I’ve heard you say. You are the most important to me. None of that other shit matters to me the way you do. If anything happened to you…” he stopped, choking up at the thought.

“Kevin,” Edd said evenly, still turned away from him. “I am used to this, you are not. I can handle it. I have handled it my whole life. I do not want you hurt or have to go through this. These people are your friends…”

Kevin interrupted him, “My friends? You think I’d be friends with scum like that? If they can’t accept who I am, or accept I’m in love with you, they aren’t my friends.”

“But your team…”

“My team is important, but not more important than you. If they have a problem with you, they have a problem with me. And I’ll tell them if any one of them so much as looks at you funny, they’re out. I’m sure Coach will back me up.” He hoped his coach would back him up.

Edd finally turned back to him and Kevin saw why he had faced away from him. Tears were streaming down his cheeks. “No Kevin! Please do not do that! It will make it worse if anyone is kicked off the team,” he pleaded. “It will give them more reason to be angry with me. I can put up with it for a few more weeks, believe me. I will just go to the library at lunch and stay away from you. It will not be that bad. We will be living together in August, so a few weeks apart at school will be no hardship.”

“It’s a hardship for me,” Kevin said flatly. “No one will touch you; you have my word on that. I don’t give a shit for how angry any of them are after hearing me out tomorrow. I’m proud of what you and I have together. And I’ll be damned if anyone tries to take that away from me.”

“Kevin…”

“No. I mean it. I’m walking you to all of your classes tomorrow. If I can’t, someone will. You won’t be alone at school at all. You’ll eat lunch with us, and if those fuckers don’t like it, they can sit somewhere else. You’re also coming to practice with me.”

Edd gasped, his eyes widening. “Oh no, Kevin, I could not do that. It will definitely make things worse if I show up!”

“I’m not letting you out of my sight if I can help it. You’re coming and sitting in the stands until we’re done.”

Edd didn’t say anything. He covered his face and hung his head, crying harder.

Kevin finally came around the table and grasped Edd’s upper arms. “There’s one other thing we’re going to talk about right now,” he said sternly. “Look at me.”

It took a few moments, but Edd finally pulled his hands away and tilted up his head to look at Kevin with tear-filled eyes.

“You hurt me today, Edd.”

Those eyes widened. “Kevin!”

“You hurt me a lot. You weren’t honest with me and that scares me. I love you so much and I want you to trust me. But I have to trust you, too. I don’t want to think you’re keeping things from me. I’m here for the good and bad. I know we love each other, but we need to trust each other.”

Edd cried harder, unable to pull his eyes from Kevin’s, even though hurt in those green eyes stabbed Edd in the heart.

“You didn’t talk to me yesterday, after everyone left. You weren’t yourself, and while I’m not really complaining about what we did, it wasn’t like our normal, and that worries me. You don’t think I know you, Edd? You’ve been almost my entire focus for five months. You don’t think I can tell when something is bothering you? I asked you over and over today if you were okay and you lied to me.”

“Kevin,” Edd choked out, “Kevin, I am so sorry. I did not want you to worry.”

“But knowing you lied to me makes me worry more, Edd.” 

“I will never lie to you again, Kevin, I promise!” Edd sobbed.

Knowing he had made his point, Kevin pulled Edd to him, holding him tightly in his arms as Edd cried into his chest with great heaving sobs. Kevin’s hand reached up to the back of Edd’s head as he held him, letting the boy get it all out. They stood like that for a long time as Edd let out his pent up emotion and Kevin patiently soothed him.

“We didn’t really get a chance to talk yesterday,” Kevin said after Edd’s sobs calmed. 

“I know,” Edd replied, his voice muffled. “I did not know what to say to you.”

He pushed Edd slightly back to reach up and cradle his face in his hands. “Dee,” and he saw how Edd’s face brightened slightly when he used the pet name again. “Don’t ever feel like you can’t talk to me.” He knew he was repeating himself, but he had to make the point clear to Edd. “I trust you with everything I am and I want you to trust me, too.”

“I should have been more honest with you from the start,” Edd said, his eyes brimming again. “I should have explained myself. I do not know why I did not. Wait,” Edd frowned, his gaze shifting to the side for a moment. He swallowed, then looked Kevin in the eye again. “I think I do know. Sometimes I am afraid I will lose you.”

“Why would you think that, sweetheart?”

“Do not tell me I am silly to think it, please?” he pleaded. Kevin shook his head. “There are times I think I am not good enough for you,” he said. “Please, let me finish?” Kevin had opened his mouth to protest, but he snapped it shut and nodded. “I know, logically, you would not do that to me. I do know. However, I am not very secure, and you are…you are…” he floundered for the right words. “You are perfect,” he concluded. “You are so handsome and funny and nice and smart. You could have anyone you want, Kevin. Why would you pick me?”

Kevin sighed. “I’m glad you think I’m perfect, Dee, but I’m not. And I know I’ve told you why I love you before. That hasn’t changed. I don’t ever see it changing. I fall more in love with you every day. You are funny and nice and smart, not to mention incredibly adorable. And God, just so fucking sexy. You are everything perfect to me and I’d be the stupidest idiot in the world if I would do anything to give that up. I wouldn’t give up someone who makes me as happy and who makes me feel as loved as you do.”

Edd reached up and wrapped his hands around each of Kevin’s, gently pulling them from his face, then pulling them against his chest. “It is difficult for me to believe you feel that way, but I do. I know how honest you are. You make me feel so loved, too, Kevin.”

“You’re not gonna lose me,” Kevin said, leaning down to kiss Edd’s forehead. “We…we had a bad week. I’m sorry it got so bad. I’m sorry we fought. I’m sorry things went down the way they did…”

“You do not have to apologize, Kevin,” Edd interrupted, his tone firm. “I am the one who needs to apologize to you.”

“You don’t…” Kevin tried to say, but Edd interrupted again.

“I do, Kevin. I was not…myself. I did not trust you when you never gave me a reason not to have faith in you. My reasoning made sense to me, though I can see how dumb it was now.”

“Dee I’m not gonna let you say you’re dumb, or what you felt was dumb. I love that you wanted to protect me. You don’t know how…loved…it makes me feel.”

Edd smiled briefly as he looked down. “I guess I must have thought it was easier to keep up the façade, if that makes sense? I know it does not really, but for some reason, it did at the time. You are right. You have always been right. Our love is a beautiful thing and the most important thing in my life. To think I treated it like something shameful…”

Edd paused and tried to hold back a sniff with no success. In a moment, Kevin had him back in his arms. “Don’t cry sweetheart.”

“I feel so guilty. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I did not seriously consider your feelings. I am so so sorry for that.” Edd’s voice was slightly muffled, though he had turned his head and pressed the side of it against Kevin’s chest.

“There is nothing to feel guilty about, Dee. I went along with it, because I love you. Maybe I should have pushed you a little more. Maybe I should have gotten the truth from you. We could have solved this a long time ago. But I didn’t either. And I’m sorry that I pushed the issue when you weren’t ready. I should’ve kept my mouth shut when Jason was bugging me.”

“I am sorry I lost my head at that moment, Kevin. I should have known better you would never betray me in such a way. That is what I meant about trust. I do trust you. With everything I am. I knew you would not compromise your promise, but at that moment, I was afraid you would. I am more sorry I lashed out at you and blamed you. I hope you can forgive me.”

“Dee,” Kevin murmured. “My sweet, sweet Dee. There’s nothing to forgive, baby. I know why you were angry. We’re both to blame and we were both stupid. Let’s just promise something to each other, okay?”

“Anything, Kevin,” he said, pulling back enough to look up into Kevin’s eyes.

“Promise me to tell me everything you feel. Never be afraid to tell me. I want all of you, Dee, the good and the bad. Nothing you ever tell me will change how I feel about you. You are everything to me, you’re my whole life, and I want you to trust me and I want you to know I trust you. I can’t help you when I don’t understand, okay?”

“I promise, Kevin. I promise with all my heart.”

“I know it’s way too early to think of this, Dee, but do you realize we’ve got plans to be together for at least the next four years and even after that? I won’t say it plain, but I think you know I’m hinting at. I see us as lasting a long, long time. And that’s scary and thrilling and wonderful all at once. But I need you to know I will always be here for you no matter what?”

Edd swallowed, a pleasurable shiver running through him at what Kevin said. Edd knew what Kevin was hinting at. Permanence. They had only just reached the five-month mark in their relationship and already Kevin was thinking permanent commitment and Edd also knew that is what he wanted. He agreed it was too early, but Kevin was right. They planned on four years together in Maryland. Kevin planned to go with him to Boston when he began graduate school. He and Kevin planned to be together for years, and Edd knew after all that time they would be permanent and he felt so overwhelmingly loved at the thought.

“That is something I have known from the beginning, Kevin. Just as I shall always be here for you. I look forward to our future together. For a long time to come.”

Kevin hugged him close, pulling off his hat so he could kiss the top of his head. “My Dee,” he murmured in such a loving way that Edd’s heart felt full.

“Please forgive me,” Edd requested once more, pulling back and looking into Kevin’s eyes, his blue-green ones pleading with Kevin for forgiveness.

“Of course I forgive you, you little dork. Like I could resist you when you look at me like that.” Kevin smiled, then leaned down to kiss the adorable smile Edd returned to him. “Are we good, Dee?” he asked, looking into those beautiful eyes he loved.

“Of course we are, Kevin,” Edd answered softly, sliding his arms up around Kevin’s neck. 

* * *

“I texted mom and said I wanted to talk to her and dad,” Kevin said as he tossed aside his phone. Edd stirred from where he was leaned against Kevin and he sat up straighter to look at his boyfriend. They had ended up on the couch, giving each other little kisses and light caresses. Quiet with each other, enjoying that they were back to their norm. While Edd knew it would take some time for his guilt to dissipate, Kevin’s expressions of love were helping a lot.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Dad worked late and planned to bring home Chinese, so she said she’d tell him to bring enough for all of us, if that’s okay? I figure I can tell them we’re out now.”

Edd nodded slowly. “I think that is a good idea,” he agreed. Part of him would rather stay here in his quiet home, cuddled up to Kevin. Their talk was good, but Edd knew they should focus on each other right now. The other part of him, however, hoped he’d be able to get some time alone with Sylvie and her sympathetic ear. 

He ended up being glad they went over, though they did not stay long. Over Chinese takeout, they told Pete and Sylvie what happened. Kevin did most of the talking – Edd was still shamed over his whole behavior and his own misunderstandings. 

Pete asked Kevin to help him with something in the garage, so Edd helped Sylvie clean up after dinner. It gave him the opportunity to talk to her – he loved to talk to her, she was so sympathetic and understanding, with a touch of humor that made Edd want to spill all his secrets, hopes, and dreams to her. 

They had a wonderful talk that helped to make him feel better about the whole thing. He had told her honestly about the fights he and Kevin had, and she listened without judging, without taking sides. “Both you and Kevin made mistakes,” she said as she wiped the counter, giving him a little smile. “I’m sure Pete is telling Kevin the same thing. And it’s not surprising. You’re both young and inexperienced with relationships.”

It was true, of course. Definitely for Edd, who had never even been on a date before Kevin. He knew Kevin had never had a romantic relationship either. So what Sylvie said made sense. 

“The important thing,” Sylvie continued, fully turning to look at him, leaning her hip against the breakfast bar, “is that you learn from it. Grow from it. And don’t hold on to the anger. Talk it out. Your biggest mistake was not talking about it. Avoiding issues makes them grow. If you had been fully honest with Kevin at the beginning…if Kevin had been fully honest with you…you could have avoided all of this.” She held up her hand. “I’m not saying your feelings were not valid. Or Kevin’s.”

“I know. I am lucky Kevin respected my wishes,” he agreed. “But you are right. I should have told Kevin all of my reservations. Perhaps we could have come out earlier, or at least he would have fully understood. And, I would have known how important it was to him.”

“See, you’ve learned,” Sylvie said. “I told this to Kevin when you boys started dating. Never go to bed angry. I don’t care if you have to stay up all night talking it out, but do it. Am I gonna sound like some old lady if I tell you a relationship isn’t all kissing and lovey-dovey stuff?” she asked. Edd shook his head. “If you don’t communicate you might as well give it up. Sex will only get you so far.”

Edd’s face flushed, but he laughed. It felt good to laugh after the stress of the week. “I shall take your advice to heart, Sylvie. Thank you.”

She stepped over to hug him, her warmth bringing tears to his eyes. He wished many times the past few days that his mother were here, to hug him and talk to him. This was a very good close second. He was so grateful that having Kevin in his life also brought Sylvie and Pete into it. 

“No need to thank me, dear,” she said, giving him an extra squeeze. “You’re family. And believe me, we want this relationship to work as much as you and Kevin do.”

As they walked back to Edd’s house, Kevin said he had a good talk with his dad and Edd told him Sylvie had talked to him. It was late, and Edd knew he should do homework (more than likely Kevin had some too), but for once in his life he ignored it. It was more important to him right now to be with Kevin. To be physically close to him and talk to him. 

Once in Edd’s house, they sat for awhile on the couch, telling each other what Pete and Sylvie had said, promising once again to be honest with each other. Edd thought things had calmed, until Kevin suddenly said, “Let me see.” 

”See?”

”The bruises. Eddy said you had bruises.”

Edd stiffened. He had hoped Kevin wouldn’t see them. He planned to say he was too sore or tired if Kevin felt in the mood that evening and hoped the blotches on his skin would fade quickly. He should have known better. “Kevin...”

“Please. I need to see them.”

With a little sigh, Edd reached down to the hem of his t-shirt and reluctantly pulled it over his head, his hat catching and coming off with it. Long hair brushed his shoulders, but couldn’t hide the blueish-purple patch on the front.

Kevin drew in a breath with a hiss, but didn’t comment on the mark. “And your back?”

Edd turned, wincing inside. He knew the bruise on his back was worse. He’d checked it when he got home. He felt Kevin’s fingers gently trace the outline, which unwillingly sent a shiver up his spine. Kevin’s touch always affected him that way. Or it may have been the muttered cursing. “Language,” he said softly, before he thought.

”I’m going to fucking kill him.”

Edd twisted back to face Kevin, looking at him anxiously. “No, Kevin. Please. Do not do anything to Jason.”

”I can’t let him get away with this.”

”Please, do not resort to violence!” He placed his hands against Kevin’s chest. “Please, promise me.”

Kevin’s glance went back to the bruise on Edd’s shoulder and Edd could see the anger simmering underneath the gaze. “Alright,” Kevin grudgingly said. “But this makes me more determined that you’re not going to be alone at school. Until I know for sure those assholes aren’t going to touch you, I ain’t taking chances, Dee.”

“I hate to inconvenience our friends,” Edd said, hurriedly pulling his shirt back on.

“First, they offered. Second, keeping you safe isn’t an inconvenience. We still don’t know how all the school is reacting. That some people thought they could touch you today worries me. So, just humor me. Let me make sure you’re safe.”

Edd knew how important it was to Kevin to play the part of protector for him. Didn’t he feel as protective of Kevin? He sighed, gesturing to Kevin’s hands, which held his phone. “Go ahead.”

With a flurry of texting between Kevin, Eddy, Ed, Rolf, and, surprisingly, Jake, Kevin arranged for someone to walk with Edd to all of his classes. One of the most annoying things about both of their schedules was they had no classes near each other. There was no way, other than walking Edd to his first class or to his class after lunch, Kevin would be able to be his escort.

‘ _Bodyguard_ ,’ Edd thought bitterly.

He schooled his bitterness, however. He supposed it would be nice not to worry about being physically assaulted as he went from class to class. It had been a long time since he’d worried about such a thing. He had to dig deep in his memories for the last time someone had touched him in a bullying way – the classic shoving him into his locker and trapping him inside. It happened in junior high school, many years ago. He’d missed his fourth period class, but the bullies didn’t count on Eddy or Ed knowing his locker combination. Edd merely had to text Eddy, who rescued him as soon as class was over.

He did have to admit to himself that Jason’s threats unnerved him. He knew Jason wouldn’t do something as benign as locking him in a locker. Edd took it as a serious threat, as did Kevin. If letting Kevin arrange bodyguard duty for him made Kevin feel a sense of relief, Edd would allow it. He couldn’t deny Kevin’s concern made him feel incredibly loved.

“We should be set,” Kevin said, pulling Edd from his thoughts. 

“Excellent.”

“I know you don’t like it, Dee, but it makes me feel better. I don’t wanna have to worry about you. After I talk to the team tomorrow, if Coach lets me, we shouldn’t have to worry about it.”

“So tomorrow shall be the only day?”

“Mm. Maybe. They all said they’d watch over you next week, too. Just to be safe.”

Edd rolled his eyes. A whole week of being guarded as if he was some celebrity? Sounded like a nightmare.

Kevin’s mood had improved, now that he had guaranteed Edd’s safety. He grinned at his boyfriend, tossing his phone to the couch cushion next to him. “Oh, come on. It’s just walking with a friend to class. You do that already with Eddy every day after first period anyway.”

“True.”

Kevin pulled Edd close to his side, careful of the bruises, and leaned over to nuzzle into his neck. “Are we good?” Kevin asked again.

Edd hesitated with the simple answer that, yes, they were good. He thought for a minute, the press of Kevin’s nose against his skin a point of focus for him. “I think we are.” Kevin drifted a few kisses on his jaw, light and feathery touches. Edd hummed, a signal for Kevin to continue his ministrations. He did, giving Edd little nips and kitten licks that nearly had Edd in tears again, this time from happiness. This was much more like their normal and his heart sang as Kevin’s lips finally reached his own. 

After a moment, Edd caressed his hand down Kevin’s side, then over his thigh to rest over his groin. 

Kevin pulled back, his eyes shaded with surprise. Edd smiled at him and squeezed slightly, delighted that Kevin’s eyes lit up with the flash of desire which sent Edd’s pulse racing. “Dee?”

“Makeup sex is supposed to be wonderfully satisfying,” Edd mused. “Shall we go upstairs and test it?”

Kevin jumped up in eagerness, pulling Edd off the couch and dragging him to the stairs laughing. “Only if you top tonight…”


	10. You Are Stronger Than You Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another day at school...

**You Are Stronger Than You Know**

This morning was somewhat more like their normal mornings. Edd felt a wave of relief when he woke up to Kevin brushing kisses against his cheek, with his comforting weight and warmth still enveloping Edd in their sleeping position. He snuggled back against Kevin, naked skin to naked skin – they’d fallen asleep after making love. ‘ _Make up sex_ ,’ Edd reminded himself with a satisfied sigh. 

He still felt there was more to say to each other, but clearing the air lifted a huge weight off his shoulders. Combined with the huge weight of their secret, he felt better than he’d had in months. As Kevin kissed on him, he smiled, reveling in Kevin’s love. He certainly appreciated it much more this morning. Not that he never appreciated it, but now he felt their misunderstandings had…if not completely disappeared…were well on their way out.

It made him so happy to be cuddling with Kevin, giving him little nipping kisses back, and making him laugh again. Edd felt so heart-full he thought about skipping school to spend the day together.

However, he didn’t want anyone at school to think him a coward. Or to think Kevin a coward. He knew Kevin wanted to speak to his coach today, anyway. With an important game the following day, there was no way Kevin could skip practice. 

Still. Bed was nice and it took all the effort he could muster to slip out for his shower and to get ready for their day. Kevin grumbled as he left, of course, making playful grabby hands at him. “Join me if you do not want to be apart,” Edd suggested teasingly.

Kevin barked out a laugh. “If I do that, we’ll definitely be late for school.” He stretched lazily, smiling up at Edd. Edd leaned down to kiss him, because he looked so cute with his sleep-tousled hair. “Don’t forget I wanna be early…”

“I know, my love,” Edd said, straightening. “I have some cereal in the pantry, if it is all right with you? It shall be quicker than if I make something.”

“Of course, baby,” Kevin said, rolling onto his side and snuggling his face into Edd’s pillow. “Mmm, wake me when you’re out of the shower,” he mumbled.

Edd chuckled, ruffling Kevin’s hair. “I will.”

* * *

They left early to ride in together on the bike. As yesterday, Kevin felt the mixture of thrill and anxiety hitting him in turns. Thrilled that they were out and that he could show off his relationship at school now. Anxious because, yesterday, _he_ wasn’t sure what to expect and he knew _Edd_ was anxious, which made _his_ own anxiety rise. Today, the anxiety came from his knowledge of what Edd went through the day before. He couldn’t let that happen again.

Kevin was so grateful to their friends, giving him at least some peace of mind that Edd would be safe between classes. He felt a grim smile cross his face as he accelerated through a yellow light. If anyone would mess with Edd while he had Eddy, Ed, Rolf, or Jake next to him, that person would certainly regret it. His only worry was if Edd was harassed in class, but he hoped the teachers would be sympathetic to his boyfriend. Edd was, of course, a favorite of the teachers, but one never knew.

The fact that he was between Edd’s legs helped to soothe a lot of the anxiety. He felt happy that they seemed to be good. Yesterday was bad, but ended on a great note with amazing makeup sex – and Kevin felt the grim smile turn into a sappy, gentle one. Last night was so nice and hot. He loved giving himself up to Edd. Their position on the bike was very similar to last night and he felt his cheeks begin to burn. He had to concentrate on not getting too excited.

He felt Edd’s arms tighten around his middle as he turned the bike onto the street on which their school was. Edd hadn’t clung to him as roughly as he had the day before, until now. He knew Edd was anxious as well, but they were early. Neither of them would have to deal with other students as they arrived. Kevin would walk Edd to his home room-slash-first period class before he went to find his coach.

Kevin parked the bike and Edd scooted back and slipped off, shooting a slight sadness through Kevin at once again not doing their little ritual. Helmets came off and Kevin locked them onto the bike. Edd comfortably positioned his bag as Kevin watched. 

He could see Edd would again not be agreeable to holding hands, and Kevin could respect that. As before they became intimate, Kevin would wait until Edd was ready. Instead, he simply said, “Let’s see if Mr. Knight will let you hang out for a bit.”

* * *

Mr. Knight was at his desk, typing on his laptop, bent over and squinting at the screen. The somewhat pompous teacher refused to wear his glasses, so he was forever squinting his eyes, which served to make him look more fierce than normal. Edd enjoyed this gruff teacher, a man easily ruffled by his students, but Edd surmised he hid a big heart under his bristly exterior. 

“Mr. Vincent? And Mr. Barr? Imagine seeing the both of you this early in the day.”

“Hey, Mr. Knight,” Kevin said easily, a trait Edd couldn’t help but envy. Kevin seemed at ease no matter what the situation was, and was ever comfortable talking to teachers, who all seemed to succumb to his charm.

“Good morning, Mr. Knight,” Edd said in his more formal way.

“To what do I owe this dubious pleasure?”

“Is it okay if Edd hangs out here? We’re early so I can talk to Coach Travers before classes start,” Kevin said.

The teacher humphed to himself. “Why not? As long as he stays quiet and doesn’t disturb me.”

Kevin laughed at that. “Does Edd ever make noise in class?”

“Kevin...”

“Sorry, Dee.” Kevin turned his attention to the smaller boy. “I’ll see you at lunch. Don’t forget that Eddy will walk you to second period, okay?”

“Yes, Kevin. I shall not forget. You texted me your arrangements.”

“Good. Text me when you can and have a good day.” With that, and much to Edd’s embarrassment, as Mr. Knight could clearly see them standing in the doorway, Kevin leaned down to kiss Edd on his temple. 

It flustered Edd too much to answer as Kevin turned and left. Edd looked at Mr. Knight, whose attention seemed to be on his computer again, though the teacher wasn’t squinting, so Edd knew it was a pretense. Edd quietly crossed to the middle seat in the front row and sat down. He took out his book for the class to do some reading, as he figured it would be the least noisy thing he could do.

He couldn’t get past the first sentence of the chapter. He sat, hunched over his desk, staring at the page as the words smushed themselves together into a heap of unintelligible gibberish. Edd also felt eyes on him and knew Mr. Knight was watching him over the edge of the laptop. The scrutiny made him want to scream. Part of his anxiety from the day before was this same feeling - he wasn’t used to people looking at him, to being the center of attention. He tried his hardest to ignore it, but he couldn’t pretend not to notice, so he finally looked up and met his teachers’ eyes.

He was surprised at the kindness and sympathy expressed in Mr. Knight’s eyes. As squinty as they were, he regarded Edd with a level of empathy that brought a lump into his throat. Edd even felt the irritating sting of tears, though none really formed, and they stared at each other for a few minutes before Mr. Knight finally spoke.

“That was a brave thing you did the other day, Mr. Vincent.”

Edd’s mouth dropped open in surprise. He should have guessed the teachers would all know as well. The word spread fast enough in the two class periods after lunch when Edd announced he and Kevin were dating. Mrs. and Coach Travers both knew, and Edd should have assumed the teachers probably gossiped as much, if not more, than the students did.

“I am sorry?”

“Coming out like that. Announcing it in such a dramatic way.”

“I did not mean to be dramatic,” Edd protested. 

Mr. Knight chuckled. “No, Mr. Vincent, I don’t suppose you did. It’s not exactly in your nature, is it?”

Edd shook his head, unsure of how to respond. Was Mr. Knight amused? Disgusted? Irritated? He couldn’t tell.

“Still, dating the most popular boy in the school. One whom no one would ever guess was that way. Quite the coup for you, I should say. Who would have thought that the shy, little genius, Eddward Vincent, would set his aim so high? And succeed! Quite the coup, indeed.”

“I do not think of Kevin that way. That is not what our relationship is like,” Edd said, frowning. “I like Kevin because he is Kevin, not because he is popular.”

“Oh, no doubt, my dear boy, no doubt.” The teacher still looked vastly amused at his thoughts.

“Are you making fun of me?” Edd asked, gripping the edge of his book.

“No! Please do not think that, Mr. Vincent. I’m _proud_ of you,” Mr. Knight said. “Why, when I was your age, a young, gay man would never dream of saying the words out loud. It simply was not done. The world has come a long way since then, much to my delight, but also to my pain. I wish it had been easier back then.”

Edd’s frown smoothed out into a puzzled expression. Was Mr. Knight suggesting he was gay, too? Edd didn’t know much about the teacher personally, just as he didn’t know much personally about any of the teachers he had during his educational experience. The thought had never crossed Edd’s mind that any of his teachers may be somewhere in the LGBTQIA community, though he felt foolish to have never considered it.

“Easier?”

“Yes, my boy. Easier.”

“Mr. Knight? Are you…?” Edd asked, not quite able to say the word. It was such a personal question after all.

“Gay? As gay as, they say, Paris in springtime?” He laughed at his own joke, though Edd didn’t find it very funny. 

“I had no idea,” Edd said faintly.

“You don’t pay close attention, Mr. Vincent. Have you never heard the rumors? I know it’s been rumored since I started here twenty-five years ago.”

“I do not pay much attention to rumors.”

“That’s a good thing, my boy, a good thing. Rumors are usually false anyway, but the one about me was a rarely true one. That is why I am proud of you. You are able to do what a lot of us cannot. I do not exactly hide it, but I’m careful of whom I tell. Careful about who knows. Which also means I trust you will not fuel the rumor mill?” When Edd shook his head, the teacher smiled. “I thought as much. You were ever an honest young man, Mr. Vincent.” Edd winced inwardly at being called honest. “It has always been a pleasure to teach you. I’m happy for you. I know this is not an easy thing to deal with, but you are stronger than you know.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“Should you need anything, even a sympathetic ear, I am always here young man. I don’t have many favorite students,” and Edd smiled at that. He knew Mr. Knight had a reputation as a bristly and brusque type. Many students didn’t like him for his stern way of speaking and how seriously he handled his class and his subject. He was much stricter than normal teachers were, but Edd liked him. He didn’t approach history as a boring rote of learning dates and dusty names. He sat his bulk behind his lectern and told them stories in a way that captured the imagination. Edd had always liked history, but learning it in such a way was a joy to him.

“I do appreciate it, sir.”

“You have many more people in your corner than you may realize,” Mr. Knight added, returning his squinting gaze to his computer screen. “You and Mr. Barr.”

* * *

Coach Travers was correcting papers when Kevin knocked on the open door, startling the older man, whose expression slid into a smile when he saw it was Kevin. “Morning, Kev. Here a little early today?”

“Yeah, Coach,” Kevin said, stepping in. “I need to talk to you if that’s okay?”

“Of course. Pull up a chair.”

“Can I shut the door?” Kevin asked, then did after the coach nodded.

“What can I do for you, Kev?” Coach asked as Kevin sat in a chair opposite him.

Kevin had planned what he wanted to say, but he was still unsure of how to start. The coach had helped him the other day with Edd, had let Kevin have the day off practice, had treated Kevin the same way he treated Kevin every day, but Kevin still had no idea what his coach thought of him. He was worried the coach might be narrow-minded - possibly think a ‘fairy’ couldn’t play sports and would ask Kevin to leave the team. Kevin didn’t think the coach would do that, but Kevin knew his fear was justified, in a way. Kevin had no illusions on how people would treat him throughout life.

“I want to ask,” Kevin paused, then took a breath. “What I guess I want to know is…what’s the policy for the team on bullying?”

Coach Travers sat back in his chair and crossed his arms as he thought. “Bullying? It’s the same as with the school, Kev. Zero tolerance. I won’t put up with any form of bullying - emotional, verbal, physical. It’s immediate removal from the team. Whether or not the school will also take measures is up to the administration, but I don’t tolerate it.”

“That’s what I thought,” Kevin murmured, glad it was true.

“I won’t have my kids become brutes. I won’t. My kid brother was picked on when we were young and it broke my heart. I won’t have my kids do that to anyone.” Kevin was surprised at the scowl on his coach’s face. “What’s wrong? Did something happen to you yesterday?”

Kevin shook his head. “Not me. Edd.”

Kevin could see that this did not surprise the coach, who merely grunted. 

“No one said a word to me,” Kevin said, a little of his anger showing. “But Edd was harassed.”

“Not surprising. I’m assuming the boy can’t or won’t fight back.”

“No. He wouldn’t even if he could. Nazz said they were cowards - picking on Edd because they didn’t dare pick on me. Hurting him when he can’t do anything about it.”

“Edd was hurt?” the coach asked, concerned. He leaned forward, his arms resting on the desk.

Kevin nodded. “From some of my teammates. He has bruises...”

It startled Kevin at how angry the coach looked as he interrupted. “My boys hurt him?”

“I’m not sure who. I mean, I know Jason was the one who shoved him in the bathroom and left bruises on his back. Then threatened him to stay away from me.” Kevin felt the sting of tears in his eyes as he thought again about anyone hurting his sweet Edd. “I don’t know who else bullied him.”

“If Edd wants to pursue this, Kevin, I can and will remove Jason from the team.”

“Edd doesn’t want to. And,” he said, noticing the additional frown lines on his coach. “I understand. I’m not happy about it, but I can’t make him.” The coach nodded. “What I do want to know is can I speak to the team before practice today?”

“You’re the captain, Kev. Of course, you can. What do you want to say?”

“I think I’m just going to remind the guys about the bullying policy. I hope that will end it. In the meantime, I’m making sure Edd isn’t really alone here at school. I don’t know what else to do to protect him. Part of me wants to beat the shit out of Jason for even thinking he could touch Edd. But Edd made me promise to not go after him.”

“I understand, but I’m happy you refrained from doing anything. Jason is the type to turn you in if you did. I think talking to them will help. I’ll back you up. But, if anything happens to Edd again, or to you for that matter, tell me and I’ll deal with it.”

The relief Kevin felt almost overwhelmed him. His coach not only seemed to accept him, but also supported him. 

“Thanks so much, Coach. I can’t tell you what this means to me. To us.”

“You’re a good, brave kid, Kevin. I’ll do whatever I can to help.”

* * *

Edd couldn’t help but be both annoyed and touched at the concern of his friends. The way Eddy stalked through the halls with him, glaring at anyone who looked at the pair of them, made Edd want to laugh. Eddy’s expression alone would keep any potential harasser at bay. Edd just hoped Eddy wouldn’t physically attack anyone who tried anything. 

Jake was his escort to third period, which made Edd nervous. In a weird way, Jake set this whole thing in motion, though Edd knew it actually started by Kevin singing at the talent show. Edd and Kevin's fights started because Jake knew about them.

Yet, Edd thought it was unfair to Jake to think of him like that. Surely, Kevin’s friends did seem to care a great deal about Kevin, and surprisingly by extension, of himself. Edd knew Jake had tried to be friendly to him ever since the Eds had joined the table at lunch but Edd was too shy and awkward to say a lot back to any of the attempts at conversation that Jake put forth. 

They didn’t speak at first as they stopped at Edd’s locker quickly before walking to the stairs. Jake smiled easily enough at him, but Edd didn’t quite know what to think about Jake. He had been surprised when Jake showed up at his home the day he came out. It was nice that Kevin’s friend had come to offer support, though he assumed it was more for Kevin than for him. 

“You doing okay?”

Edd looked up, his eyes wide. “Yes, Jake. I am fine. Thank you for inquiring.”

Jake’s eyebrows raised. “You’re welcome,” he said, then rubbed the back of his neck. “I know you don’t really know me, Double D, but Kev’s a good friend. I’m really happy for him that he’s so happy with you. I hope we can be friends, too.”

It was not exactly what Edd expected, but it did make him feel good. He knew how much Kevin’s friends meant to him, so for one of them to offer friendship to Edd in spite of being different from each other proved to Edd how much Jake, in turn, cared for Kevin. The thought made him smile.

“I-I would very much like that, Jake,” he answered in a shy tone. “I know Kevin considers you one of his closest friends.”

“He does?” 

“Yes. I have heard about all of your adventures and exploits from Kevin,” Edd said with a small laugh. “I was quite amused by them.”

Jake laughed. “Yeah, we do have fun that’s for sure.”

“I like your girlfriend, too,” Edd said. “She was very nice to me at the winter festival we all attended together.”

“She was the one who suspected you and Kev were together.”

“Yes, Kevin told me.”

“She told me on the drive home. I’m completely oblivious to those kind of things, but Carla’s like Superwoman when it comes to that.”

“Kevin told me you said we were not very subtle about it if one looked closely. It is difficult to hide how you feel about someone else all of the time.”

“Yeah. I don’t think anyone else noticed, but after Carla told me that, I watched you guys. Then it was obvious.”

Edd sighed. “I am actually surprised we hid it as long as we did,” he said as they mounted the stairs to the second floor. “Kevin, especially, is not good at hiding his feelings. Since he is popular, it is a mystery no one ever noticed.”

Jake hummed in agreement.

“I imagine that because Kevin is quite masculine no one would suspect he preferred his own gender. The stereotype we are all feminine is strong, and Kevin is anything but feminine.”

Jake snorted then, getting another glance from Edd. “I guess that could be. I mean, I don’t think it. One of the toughest guys I’ve ever known is gay. But I can see what you mean.”

They had arrived at Edd’s class. “Thank you again, Jake, for escorting me. I appreciate it and I know Kevin does, too.”

“My pleasure, Double D. I’ll see you at lunch!” Jake said with a little wave.

* * *

His third and then his fourth period class, to which Ed escorted him, were uneventful. Except for one of the cheerleaders grilling him about his relationship with Kevin in the two minutes before the teacher began the lecture. Edd was confused and unsure of how to answer her. He was so used to his relationship with Kevin being private that direct questions by someone whom he didn’t know was off-putting to him. At least, he thought to himself, she wasn’t making fun of him.

Rolf had a class right next door, which was why Kevin asked him to escort Edd to lunch. They first visited Edd’s locker to retrieve his lunchbox, then headed up the two flights of stairs to the cafeteria.

When they entered, Edd stopped short. He noticed that Jake occupied Edd’s normal seat and the spot Jake normally sat in was empty. The seat next to Kevin. Of course Kevin would expect Edd to sit next to him. They were boyfriends, after all, and it was known throughout the school, so why not? He felt his anxiety spike slightly. This would be an entire hour of people staring at them with no doubt the rumors were true.

Rolf looked at him with concern. “Is the Edd-boy okay?” he asked.

Edd swallowed, and nodded, though a little jerkily. “It appears Kevin expects me to sit next to him.”

“Ah, yes, of course. Kev-boy expected this thing yesterday, though the Edd-boy didn’t be showing up.” Rolf put his hand on Edd’s shoulder in comfort. “Rolf is sure everything will be okay, Edd-boy. Do not be worrying and it will make Kev-boy very happy.”

“But everyone will stare.”

“Let them. They are not knowing what it means to love someone if they are thinking bad things about the Edd-boy and Kev-boy.” Then, in a statement that surprised Edd more because it wasn’t in Rolf’s usual vernacular, the boy said to Edd in a low voice. “You and Kevin love each other. If they don’t like it, they can, as my Nana would say, go fuck a goat.”

Edd nearly choked on a laugh, and gasped out a “Language, Rolf!”, which got his friend laughing.

“Edd-boy knows Rolf is right,” Rolf said. 

“You are,” Edd agreed, then began walking again toward the table. He felt a little lighter at what Rolf had said, because his friend was correct. Why should Edd care what the rest of the students here thought of him and Kevin? Edd only cared what the Eds, Nazz, and Rolf thought. Of course, there was a concern of someone harming him or Kevin, but as far as what people thought about it? It wasn’t their business.

Kevin’s smile was nervous, though he looked on eagerly as he and Rolf approached. Jake looked at Edd with a sheepish expression and a shrug. Edd rounded the table, stood behind the empty spot next to Kevin, and set down his lunchbox.

“Hey, Dee,” Kevin said softly.

“Greetings, Kevin,” he replied as he pulled out the chair and settled into it.

“I hope you don’t mind…” Kevin said, leaving it hanging.

“No, Kevin. I do not mind,” he said, giving Kevin a small smile. 

Kevin’s answering grin warmed Edd’s heart, despite the sensation crawling up his spine from the stares he felt directed at them.

Edd looked around the table, then asked in a low tone, “Jason will not be here, will he?”

Jake snorted. “That little coward didn’t come over here yesterday. I can’t imagine he will today.”

Edd nodded. “What about your other friends, Kevin? Did they sit here yesterday?”

“I think so. They were walking over towards this table when I left to go look for you.”

Jake nodded when Kevin glanced at him. “Yeah, Ben and Joel were here.”

“That is good,” Edd said as he pulled the leftovers out of his lunchbox. “I know Kevin enjoys their friendship.”

“Hey, now that we’re not hiding anything,” Kevin said, looking pointedly down at Edd’s lunch, “you can pack leftovers for me, too. You know how hard it is to watch you eat the stuff you made knowing how good it was the night before?”

Edd chuckled. “As difficult to watch _you_ eat the leftovers we made at _your_ house the night before.”

Kevin leaned closer to him and nudged him with his elbow and Edd returned the gesture. Kevin looked surprised, but Edd simply smiled at him. 

“Hey guys!”

“What’s up?”

They looked up to see Ben and Joel pulling out chairs, Ben next to Jake and Joel next to Edd. Edd turned back to look at Kevin in time to see a flash of a relieved expression on his face before he returned their greetings. 

The group settled into their normal and easy chatter of every other day. Mostly complaints about different teachers or problems in class. Edd still felt too shy to jump in, but he made the effort of maintaining eye contact instead of staring at his lunch. Eddy, sitting across from Kevin, shot Edd a reassuring smile every time their eyes met, and that helped relieve a lot of tension in his body. As did the occasional touches of his and Kevin’s hands atop the table as they ate.

Edd could see students at the other tables staring at them. He could feel their eyes. The hair prickled on the back of his neck. Edd wasn’t sure exactly what to think or how he felt. Relief was a surprising emotion. He imagined now that everyone knew about them, the stress everyone would find out was gone. While he still feared the repercussions of this whole thing, he wasn’t as concerned as he thought he’d be. Kevin was right. This would probably blow over in a week or so, then he and Kevin would become old news and the student body would move on to the next piece of juicy gossip.

Lunch was pleasant and Edd allowed himself to enjoy it. He laughed more than he ever had before, though he didn’t contribute much to the conversation. Edd knew Jake liked him, but he didn’t know if Ben or Joel did. At least they were being friendly and acting as they normally did. Jackie and Maddie, who joined them halfway through the lunch period, were the same. Granted, they weren’t as flirty with Kevin, but they still joked around with him and the others. Overall, it couldn’t have gone better in Edd’s opinion and he felt a little silly for how much he had worried. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I stan supportive teachers.
> 
> Interesting note (at least to me): Mr. Knight is completely based on my US History teacher in junior high, right down to the name. Back in the 80's, he wouldn't have been able to be out, but we all thought he was gay. He was an amazing teacher and I remember him fondly.

**Author's Note:**

> Grabbed the title from the incredible Diana Ross and her song "I'm Coming Out"...give it a listen...
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @ devoosha. Sometimes I'm funny.
> 
> If you want links to my fanfiction, follow me on Tumblr @ devooshawrites


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